A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have been married for sixteen years and with two children. One child is special needs. There has been three cheating incidences that I knew of during the marriage. The last one he left me for twice in a year and he came back. I filed for divorce. Two months before the divorce, he wanted me to stop it, which I did. Its been six months since he has been back. In the last couple of months, he went on a dating site and had been chatting with a couple of women. One of the women, he was supposed to get together with, while lying to me about going to a job interview. It was confirmed, because, I looked at the his cell phone and called the girl. He apparently told her he was getting divorced, he was separated and came back only for the kids. Since I confronted him, he says he told her that a month ago. And that he can't see other people while living in the same house. He says either I work it out with you or I go try to get a place. I don't have any trust in him. He doesn't want to leave. Does this man love me? Is he a sociopath? Should I break it off even though the kids will not have both parents in the house together?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2012): "Does this man love me?"No. And worse, he doesn't respect you. "Is he a sociopath?"Based on info provided, I'd say not a sociopath, just your everyday garden-variety lying cheating narcissistic scumbag. "Should I break it off even though the kids will not have both parents in the house together?"Yes, you should break it off as your kids have not had both parents "together" for eons even when their sperm depositor is in residence. You were a fool to take him back after he cheated the second time and you were a fool to give in to his demand to stop the divorce as he now believes he can do anything he wants and still weasel his way back into your life. Seconding Denise32, he's using you. But only because you've been letting him use you. Again seconding Denise32, you don't need to put up with him, so don't put up with him one second longer. File for divorce and stick to your guns.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2012): I would document his offenses in anyway possible. That way when you take him to divorce/civil court you can prove that he needs to pay child support and gtfo.
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A
female
reader, Plumb +, writes (8 September 2012):
 Leave him, he's playing games with you and trying to get the full package at the same time, it not fair to you or your kids. He obviously doesn't love you if he's cheated 3 times and continues to do so..
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (8 September 2012):
 He wants to have all the comforts of home - you to cook for him, do his laundry, etc., look after the children with no commitment to you or intention of being faithful.
If he doesn't want to see other women while living with you, then duh - HE should leave, not you!
For starters you could change the locks and put his clothes, etc. out on the doorstep and tell him to find somewhere else to live, then start divorce proceedings again and go through with it this time!
He's using you. You don't need to put up with him.
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