A
male
age
41-50,
*ostinlove307
writes:so i have been married to my second wife for about a year now. i was 27 and she was 21 before we were married she was responsible and had some self respect and respected me but immediately after our marriage she quit her job without notification put on about sixty pounds and just treats me like a child with no respect i approached her about my issues with the way she is being and the only thing that she said was fine then do you want a divorce of course i coward down and just continued being miserable and all that i think is that she married me for my money then to make things interesting last week my ex wife and the mother of my two children contacted me and apologized for what had happened between us in the past (long story short we married very young and work got in between our relationship) and she expressed how much she loves me and the thing is i still have very strong feeling for her but i am married and i have never cheated once in my life and dont plan on cheating on my wife what should i do should i stay with my current wife and be miserable or divorce and be with my ex wife and my children i am so confused
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divorce, ex-wife, money, my ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2010): Your wife is young and immature; at 22 she's not going to know how to be a partner in the truest sense because she's still growing up. Although she may have seem responsible before the marriage, you married a little girl, and at 27 year old you should have taken her age and life experience into account before making her you SECOND wife.As diabolical as your wife sounds,you chose her.
If you're 28 and married and (almost) divorced twice, I think you need to examine your own choices and actions. Your wife might be the devil incarnate, but do you take marriage seriously? Are you willing to make an effort to make things work, or is your ex-wife's declaration of love just what you need to run for the hills?
Try to get your wife to go to couples counseling and get some individual counseling for yourself. Marriage is not something you throw away, it's something you have to constantly work at.
A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (4 June 2010):
 Call her bluff next time she threatens you with a divorce. You are not happy. Normally I suggest to give your marriage a chance but this is when there is a willing spouse. Your wife sounds like a very selfish person and its sounds like it has to be her way or the highway and that is not how a relationship suppose to work. You are doubting your marriage and your love for you now wife. Why stay in a marriage that has died in one year. What can you expect for future year if you continue in this relationship. I agree don't have children until you have decide and is sure on your decisions.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): I would go see a marriage counselor. If your wife refuses, tell her your relationship is unacceptable. If she says "want a divorce?" say you'll consider it. If you have to, do a trial separation.
I would try to deal with your wife on her own. Try not to include your ex-wife as a factor.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): Maybe you never stopped loving your first wife and the second one knows it. Not beyond the realms of possibilty. And a lot of women over eat when they arent happy. Sounds as if things have gone down hill for both of you since marrying and neither of you are content. Best advice i can give, is dont consider children with youre current wife until you decide what you want to do about your first wife and family. If you feel you married on the rebound and you arent happy, tell your wife. She might divorce you and save you making that decision.Then spend some time alone and detox before deciding if you want to return to your first wife.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): Sounds like the woman you're with at the moment is nasty! I'm sorry but if she is unwilling to help sort out your problems a year into marriage, how can you expect her to be mature when things really get tough? This is a woman who doesn't talk to you about life changing decisions such as quitting her job (which should be a joint decision - you're her husband for gods sake) but then treats you like a child! Get out while you can, go be with your family and the woman you really love :) good luck xx
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