A
female
age
41-50,
*onfused al
writes:I have fallen in love with a man from work. we are both married and he has 3 children. we have known each other for 4 years and always been attracted to each other. at the christmas party we spent the night dancing together and from then on have been emailing, then speaking several times a day. we now see each other a couple of times a week and speak everyday.we haven't slept together and neither of us has ever had an affair before - i've been with my husband for 10 yrs and he's been with his wife for 20 yrs. i know it can't go anywhere but cannot find the strength to stop it as i am so in love with him. i really can't focus on anything other than him and just dont know what to do - help!!
View related questions:
affair, christmas, married man Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008): You are already having an affair it's called en emotional affair with this man If you are not talking to your husband about this relationship then you feel guilty already.This is not good because in essence your already lying to your husband. YOur looking for advice because your consience is telling u something is wrong so it must be wrong. Loving another person does happen and there is nothing wrong with that but understand that you should never play with peoples emotions and that is just what your doing. Just think how you would feel if someone u loved became emotional attached to someone else, put yourself in his wifes place or think how you would feel if your husband did that to u. You are putting energy that belongs in your marriage into someone elses marriage. I think you should be asking your husband for advice on this matter not us you might be surpirsed to learn that he too has had feelings about other, it's natural because we're human. But Marriage is a commitment that has to be work on all the time. By putting the energy you expand on this affair into your marraige and you may be surprised by the out come. Ive never seen or heard of an affair ending happily I even know people that broke up thier marraiges to marry the one they were having an affair with just in end in another divorce. Be sronge for your husband and children get over it.
A
male
reader, wildman  +, writes (22 February 2008):
 I would suggest thinking about the consequences of each of you getting a divorce and whether you both could weather that storm. I have a lot of the same feelings myself in my present marriage. I have emailed a woman for about a year, it was a stripper, waste of time in the end. Although I should have known better it was the excitment of it all that kept me going. My wife left once and went to my sons house for two weeks, I felt so alone and came to a realization of how bad it would be to separate. In other words, The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence. Be careful not to cross the line unless you realize what you will have to endure. Are you sure he is not in it for the excitment only?
...............................
A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (21 February 2008):
Cheating is at three stages.1st you try to build an emotional connection as you are doing.2nd you build a physical intimacy as you are looking forward and if you don't stop by now you'll definitely fall into 3rd stage.Sexual intimacy begins.I won't suger coat words here.You are cheating on you marraige partners.Either make a decision to leave you partners and marry each other or stop it all together coz you'll end up in a bigger mess.
Good Luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2008): hmmm as long as you guys arent fooling around with each other i really dont see the problem continue talking to him but i wouldnt start anything with him until you and he split with your spouses it seems like you dont love your husband anymore see if he doesnt love his wife anymore.the kids would be the biggest issue but if you two arent happy with your relationship thats not good for the kids either hope i helped good luck
-michael
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2008): You have to put a stop to it and your emotions, even if it comes to not talking to him anymore. Being on the verge of adultery is not a pretty thing but it is the best point to catch yourself and turn things around. The very essence of your marriage, his marriage and the lives of all children between you two is also at stake. Please take a step back from your emotions and think about the damage that can be caused if either of your spouses catch wind or even get a feeling that something is going on. Stop it now and dont let an angry spouse unload on you and him causing severe problems or even revenge to the point of someone getting hurt or killed. NEVER mess with other people's emotions you do not want to see what actions bitterness brings especially when it is called up through a lie or a broken promise of marriage and vows.
...............................
|
