A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am a happily married 40+ man and few weeks ago i met a woman online also happily married. we are falling madly in love to each other both knowing this is a dead end story. my question is should we end this straight away or keep chatting and enjoy it for what it is. i know this is going nowhere but stopping now would really hurt and continuing is only going to strengthen the feeling which will be even more painful to end or on the other hand we might run out of steam and slowly detach over time.... please help with advice or suggestions. thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MonksDaBomb  +, writes (22 August 2010):
 OP: don't let female anon and spiderweb get you down. Good luck with your situation, follow your heart and I hope you make the right decision :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwow!! you're all so pessimistic and negative about it! not all stories finish up in divorces and broken families!!! open up girls!! you have to look at the bright side of the road a little bit more! yes spiderweb we chatted on cam and no it s certainly not like falling in love with an actress. that s a ridiculous comparison!!i will write back in sometime to prove you wrong. thanks for all the comments[Mod note: This thread is being closed due to the fact that while in the question, the OP wrote: "please help with advice or suggestions," he then went on to admit: "we're just having fun and i posted this question to see what people would say." Thus, he doesn't really want advice or suggestions and so not to waste our aunt's time and energy, we close the thread.]
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A
female
reader, spiderweb  +, writes (22 August 2010):
 To the previous auntie (anonymous): Yes, totally agree. This loser isn't going to take an ounce of well-meaning and intelligent advice. He's so sure that he can control things, and is totally unwilling to give up the false sense of being young and in love again. Only when he finds himself losing his family, self-respect and lots of money - probably divorced too, will he see that this has always been a doomed exercise, but hey, as you say - we tried!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): Happily married, eh? Welcoming to Fing up the rest of your life.
To the rest of the aunts : let's take some bets and see how soon he becomes the loser he really is.
2 marriage going down the drain. Broken kids, dysfunctional kids, bitter spouses, division of assets, divorce lawyers, hey the list is endless. Love or lust , its downhill from here onwards.
As for your married woman wonder what lies she is spinning to her hubby and kids
This is so comical, 3 guesses how this is going to pan out. At least Aunts you tried...
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A
female
reader, spiderweb +, writes (22 August 2010):
When you say you've seen her, do you mean you two have met up? Or that you've seen pictures of her and you like what you see? You seem adamant that "this is love" although the sane part of your brain must surely recognise that it is all in your imagination, a fantasy. It would be like falling in love in an actress you have just watched on screen. Most people grow out of that sort of thing by the time they're 16 but perhaps you're a late developer? Whatever... you're playing with fire and egging one another on in this ridiculous fantasy and one day, you'll be tempted to meet up and that's when the problems will really begin. Maybe marriage is a little boring at times, we all get irritated with our spouses and wonder if there is something better our there. There usually isn't - check previous posts to confirm that statement. It's only when you've really screwed up that you will finally understand what you're losing and you will move heaven and earth to keep your marriage intact. Even if you succeed, things will never be the same. Get Lara Croft movies and watch those - perve over her. Far safer.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the comments, i guess it's true that was boredom in the first place that made me go online. i said happily married, that might be an overstatement. i should have said i'm just married. and it's true it is a thrill, it is unreal life, but the love is very real, that i'm sure. the woman is also very real, yes i ve seen her. she won't be going with anyone because she's married and have no intention of leaving him. we both in love and both happy to continue the relation as it is because both feel happy with it. we're just having fun and i posted this question to see what people would say. the answers are unanimous. i thank you all for the advice and the time you spent responding but the love is far too strong to stop all contact. sorry can t do it! the thing is this is making me a happier person and that reflects onto my real relationship, so i guess it's only good stuff! thanks all again. anyone welcome to add their view.
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A
female
reader, spiderweb +, writes (21 August 2010):
You say you're happily married, which is a rare and precious thing (just read some of the posts here to see what I mean). And yet here you are, "falling in love" online with a woman you've never even met. Why did you even start this thing in the first place? Maybe you were a little bit bored? If you continue and start an affair with this woman, be ready to lose your happy marriage and your wife and family, OR if your marriage somehow survives, there will be mistrust and bad feeling and misery for years to come. End it now - save yourself and your wife years of pain. This is not love or even real life - it's boredom and a bit of thrill. Find a hobby and re-ignite your marriage. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (21 August 2010):
Two questions here:
1) Do you love your wife very much? Can you picture your life without her? If you said yes to these questions then stop the online romance before you ruin your marriage.
2) Is the woman you're talking to who she says she is? A lot of people lie about themselves online to make them look better. Have you seen her on webcam so you know she's the age she says she is, etc.
This is a very tricky subject, but if you still love your wife, then I would personally stop the online as you're playing with fire.
You may very well just detach over time. LDRs are very difficult and the key component to making them work is trust. If you keep this going, she may eventually find somebody in her city to love and leave you in the dust. Do you really want to go through that pain and also run the risk of your wife finding out? Just some things to think about.
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