| A
male
age
41-50,
*issing something
writes: dear cupid,I have a very serious problem. I have been married for 3 years but till now never penetrated my wife. I ejaculate before penetration, i don't whats wrong. Recently i have got myself checked and according to doctor everything is fine with me at the same time my wife also went to see the doctor, but she never allowed doctor to examine herself. She says she is now afraid of having sex and even her sex drive is going down. She has never inserted her own finger and never allowed myself to enter. We both want to have sex and have child but not getting any help. Please advice what to do which shows result.
View related questions:
ejaculate, sex drive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, passthechocolate +, writes (4 January 2007):
Three years is a long time. I agree with rhythmandblues2. You need therapy. Without helping the situation, you will never be able to fully enjoy your marriage. HOWEVER, there is an increasing movement of asexuality in the world whereby people find life partners and get married without any sex. Are you sure you are both interested in sex?
If you are, I suggest extended foreplay. It is very important for your wife to feel completely comfortable with her body (and yours!) and the same goes for yourself. Perhaps you should watch some porn together, or read some erotic stories.
It is very important for your wife to start feeling comfortable with penetration and her own body and not just for sexual reasons. As you are in your thirties, your wife should learn to become comfortable with her doctor examining her. Every woman over 16 should get a smear test every 2 years, and this is a very invasive (if short) procedure. at her age she really should be having them regularly as the risk for cervical cancer is very high in women aged 25 - 40.
hope some of this helped!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2006): I think that your wife should try and get used to her own body. I remember being terrified of using tampons because they caused agony for me, but once you know how to do it, it loses it's scariness.
Suggest to her that she/you buy some K Y Jelly, which is specially for this purpose, and she tries to insert her baby finger after lubricating it. She should take several deep breaths and relax the muscles in her pelvis and stomach.
Once she's used to doing that she should feel more confident about having penetrative sex.
If she can't do this, she might have not broken her hymen, or she might have a small vagina. She'll need to go to a doctor and have an examination (it's not bad, she can ask for a female doctor, and if she's planning on getting pregnant she's going to need to see the doctor sometimes). Only then will she know exactly what to do.
Good luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2006): This is so tragically sad, why? Because I know it can so very easily be cured. As your Doctor gave you the all clear physically, I would say you won't find an easy solution in medicine. I advice you to seek a properly qualified clinical hypnotherapist who is specialised in this area. Hypnotherapy affects the parasynthetic autonomic nervous system in your brain. It is this system that controls the body to orgasm properly. Hypnotherapy shows remarkable results for sexual problems, not just for premature ejaculation but also for Dyspareunia, female orgasmic disorder, female sexual arousal disorder, hypoactive sexual desire disorder, male erectile disorder, male orgasmic disorder, sexual aversion disorder and vaginismus. Give it a try, I'd love to hear how you get on.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2006): She is very scared about sex it's self or gay. You need to talk about it with your wife. Are you turning her on? and is she confortable? She should expierment with her own body by her self and be comfortable with it, because at the moment she has no idea how good it can feel. 3 years is a long time to be waiting so you obiously love her, you have done well, but now you need to help eachother.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2006): I think this has gone on long enough, you really need to seek the help of a therapist who specializes in marital therapy and sex therapy,,,,there are some underlying issues here that you need to get some insight on and a course of behavioral homework will set things right, but you need to seek help since you have now let this turn into a pattern for you.....it can change if you just do the work, and hey you will enjoy the homework!
...............................
|
