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male
age
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anonymous
writes: I'm married to my wife 25 years ago.We had great sex, she is the love of my life.But a few years ago, I lost my sex drive, and have very weak erections. We have no sex life left, because of me.I went to the doc, but he says,I have no medical problem, it is just psychological... I do work too much, it is possible, but that was always like that.What is very strange, as I don't know what is that mean.He also said ,this is very common for my age ,I'm 45.Is this true? I don't know anybody with this problem. What do you think? Is this really normal?
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erection, sex drive, sex life Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009): Well, this is erectial dysfunction, but don't know why...
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (23 May 2009):
 See a doctor to rule out erectile dysfunction, and, if that is not the problem, tell your wife about the problem.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009): Dear Danielepew !
Thanks, it just soo hard to believe its happening, because yes I do think, it could be something like that, but I don;t want to get into this midlife crises thing, I wonder what's the best way to deal with this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009): Dear Gina!
Thanks, for your advice I do rest, but it does not change my sex drive.
What else can i do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009): Dear anonymous, do you think ,it could be psychological,or boredom? It would be so sad, if I can't have any good sex with my wife . I wouldn't want to leave for sex.
Well, no dont;t ever sexual thoughts, or goo erections.. It really is a mistery.
What do you think should I do to find the root of this? Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2009): You went to see a doc -- did you have a thorough physical? You say you have poor erections with your wife -- do you *ever* get good ones? Morning wood, fantasies? If you occasionally get decent erections, the problem is likely psychological (per the first response).
If you don't ever have them, then you want to rule out hypertension, diabetes, etc. -- did the doc mention that he checked for that? Did he check your testosterone level? Low testosterone could cause a decline in your sex drive.
I'm only slightly older than you, and if anything I have more of a sex drive than I really care to have, probably because after 25 years the sex with my wife is boring and predictable. But still better than none at all. ;)
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reader, Danielepew +, writes (22 May 2009):
Sexual behavior is always difficult to define as "normal". However, I understand that your problem is very common. Old age is setting in, but, also, 25 years carry weight, you know?
Once, a man whose views I feel a tremendous respect for, who has shaped much of what I am, commented to me that the reason why people speak about "the middle-life crisis" has to do with the fact that you've slept with the same person for so long that novelty has absolutely worn off, and people get someone younger because the variety, and the youth, play the role that other people find in Viagra and its horniest cousins.
I think there can be a solution, but most likely it involves your wife, too.
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