A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been married for 2 years and my husband has a pre-ejaculation problem. I am a virgin and so is he. I am getting frustrated every time we try to make love and he would ejaculate before he can even penetrate inside me. He just cannot control it, maybe because he is not experienced himself. So we always end up getting frustrated every time we try to have sex. They say we have to keep practicing but practice doesn't always work, if i was not a virgin then probably practice will improve and correct my husbands condition. It's just so frustrating that i don't want to do it anymore so i don't end up getting frustrated over and over. I don't know how to solve this problem and its slowly damaging our marriage. Don't get me wrong, i'm not a sexual person, I've survived without sex all my life until i'm married, I've saved myself for the man i'm gonna marry, and now that i'm already married, i just want to experience all the passion and what's it like to make love specially with the man i love and married. We do try other ways to please each other and get satisfaction with that which is great, but i just wanted to experience real sex and love making. I was even thinking if there's a surgical way to get de-virginize, i would be up for it, just to get this over with and move on and have a normal sex life with my husband. Or is there any other way my husband can cure his condition. I would appreciate some advise on here.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2011): Very valuable and realistic advice given.Just want to add:With u panicking so much about penetration is this Not the real issue. If your hb is already hard penetration for a few minutes is possible before he cums, isn't it? But with your panic attacks perhaps he gets 'stage' fright and empties his load prior to the actual act.Have u tried good porn or erotic movies? You are getting sexual relief by other methods but I think some good heart to heart, trying some of the suggestions given here may just do the trick.LoveGirl
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011): There's things called outer-course (stuff that isn't vaginal intercourse)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): Thanks everyone for all your helpful advise, very much appreciated :)
@ C.Grant & ironman777: We'll try to do it as often as we can, we normally just try atleast once or twice a month. My husband is in his late 30's and i'm in my early 30's. The only thing though is my husband normally cums once and whenever we try for round two, he doesn't have the energy anymore and its hard to get it back on no matter how i try to arouse him back by passionate kissing and rubbing myself on him and even oral sex. Same thing with me, once is enough, i don't normally get on for second round. But great advise guys, we will definitely take this on board.
@ male & female anonymous: thanks for suggesting viagra but my husband has no problem with erection, he just cums very quickly and cannot control it most of the time, that was the problem actually, not erectile dysfunction...
I'm curious about SSRI drugs and how does it help with this condition? As for condoms, we never tried using condoms yet, we will give it a try, it might help. Thanks to you both for the advise.
@ shiori: Thanks for your advise but not sure if i'm up for the idea of getting it on with a girl, i suppose whatever the girl can do, my husband can do better. We actually try to explore other ways of pleasing and fulfilling each other. My husband is very good in giving me great orgasm and climax by oral sex which i also reciprocate. The only limitation we have is the actual sex or the actual penetration because of his pre-ejaculation problem and i have an unusually tight vagina as well, which makes it even harder for both of us.
@ Angziety: I agree with you, cheating is cheating whatever the gender is. I'll try to check online the desensitizing lubricant or spray you suggested, i'm quite optimistic about this, i really appreciate your help and sound advise.
@ Jonas: Yeah, i think on our case, i'm a virgin and since its the first time, i get anxiety attacks on the idea that its gonna be painful. The thing is, i have a bit smaller hole than the normal and my husband's penis is quite big and just the idea of it going inside me terrifies me, i feel like its gonna rip off my vagina. And i find it hard to relax most of the time. All those times he tried to penetrate inside me, he was just on top at the opening and it was painful already, he wasn't even halfway inside me and i feel the pain already and that's when i get panic attacks, and since its too tight as well that my husband gets so turned on that he pre-cums even when he's not even halfway inside yet, he just cannot control it and simply can't do it long as well. We also tried with me on top but it was even worst because straight away i panicked when i was trying to push myself on him and when i started feeling painful trying to get him inside, i just cannot do it, its harder for me to do it because the moment i start feeling even a slight pain, i would stop and cannot get myself to carry on. So i would rather he do it than i do because i simply cannot take charge. And he gets really turned on as well when i'm on top of him that even when i'm just starting to rub myself on him, he would cum so quick and just cannot hold it. As for foreplay, we do that all the time, and i do get wet easily once i'm turned on, i guess we don't have a problem on that aspect, my husband also gets easily turned on but it usually results to him cumming quicker than normal. But we will try harder and take your advise on board. Great advise by the way, thank you very much and you've been a big help.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): I agree to try to go at it a few times to see if he lasts longer the second or third time. All men are different, but I'm 42 and have no problem with twice in an evening and up to 6 has happened recently. SO it IS possible. Desensitizing agents and condoms may also help. I know a man can train himself to "edge" as they call it so he stops short of cumming, but this takes a lot of effort, and may put pressure on him at a time he is just trying to please you and offer productive sexual contact...but maybe help him try that later. It can also help in making male orgasms stronger, so there are other benefits to it.
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A
female
reader, shiori +, writes (20 March 2011):
You need some sexual experience, but don't do it with a guy. Ask your husband if you can do it with a girl. It may seem awkward, but you really wouldn't be cheating on him if you had sex with a girl if it is ok with him. If it isn't, you may want to go to a doctor for that kind of thing.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): SSRI drugs, a very common class of anti-depressants, have been presecribed to men in cases like this before. They have often worked. Condoms would also probably help dull his sensation a bit. That might help too.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): viagra has side effects that could help your situation.
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A
male
reader, ironman777  +, writes (20 March 2011):
Hi this problem is difficult for you to understnad and after two yeaars I would guess both of you are sick of the hassle of trying yet again and failing. He needs to start working out ways to control himself around you. You probably need to get informed - there are drugs he can take that will make him last longer, there are creams that desensitize him and also there are ways to length the sexual response, by using masturbation. He takes himself right up also to cumming and then stops. He tries again and almost cums then stops. he has to learn the feeling of almost coming so that he can stop moving or doing what he is doing and relax. Why dont you help him with this by giving him a hand job or oral sex. That way he also gets comfortable with you. I would have thought for yourself that using a sex toy may break your hyman - other woman may know, but why use that when you have your fantastic husband right there. He can do the deed, just got to have faith in him and pick the right moment. The other aunt is correct, keep trying more than once in a night, even the most mighty of men struggle to cum more than 3 times in a night so the third time he will take a while to cum for you. Just keep him turned on my kissing him lots - really passionate kissing and rubbing yourself on him.Good luck
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (20 March 2011):
 If he's in his early 30s as well, he should still be good for more than once a night. So get him off then fool around until he's ready to go again. Guys always last longer the second time.
And -- try as close to every night as possible. The reason I mention this is because every day without variety gets a bit boring. And if you're bored you last longer.
Good luck!
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