A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my heads a mess but i think im starting to make sense of it all, im 40 and been married 19 yrs , all my life there has been a sum1 else, just a physical relationship, theres been 5 other people in my life in the time ive been married, i seemed to have needed that but never known why, my hubbie deserves much better than me, i think i put it down to my back ground, it hurts to admit, it hurts alot but i think i have burried the hurt of my family (ie. my mums family hated my dad for certain reasons and my dads family hated my mum, so neither families treat my with any respect, its like im somthing they have to deal with from time to time) anyway i think i make myself feel better about all this by being wanted sexually, its like a power when i feel so pathetic and vulnerable most of the time. be nice if any1 could advise me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2007): me again,,,,when i first met my hubbie, he treated me cheaply and really hurt me, we didnt get together then but did about 3 yrs later, i sorta feel that i need someone else cos when i get hurt by one person its like my armour, i dunno maybe im talking rubbish, think i got a few issues and lots of problems
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2007): its me again, something i forgot to add, when these people treat me as cheaply as i let them i feel worse about myself and drink too much, starting to feel like i need some help, but dont want to admit it maybe.
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A
female
reader, Cateyes  +, writes (10 June 2007):
 I can't really say that I think your being with other men has to do with problems with the family. I do believe there are some problems don't get me wrong, but I think there might be some other issues. Even though the families do not treat you with respect, I can only assume your husband does and lets you know that you are not in any way shape at fault or blame for this. It is sad because you would think they would have "grown up" and acted more as adults. Your husband sounds as if he is a good man, so that makes me think that you might be letting all this get to you where you feel you need to let all your worries "out" with another. Maybe not verbally, but physically. Is that not what your husband is there for? Is he not your lover, your friend, your everything? A part of me can understand where you are coming from. However, sometimes, it takes a real heart to heart with maybe both familes to let them know how you feel and what they have done to make you feel the way you do and that it bothers you to be thrown in the middle, or to be talked to in a certain way for there problems with your parents. Sometimes, they just need to know that if they have problems with them, they need to consult them and not you. If your husband has not been there for you at all when you needed him, then I can only think this is why you turned to someone else. If he is not wanting to talk to you and you not him and keeping silent about it all, then this does make me think this is why you turned to someone else. Something tells me that you have a good husband and if you talk to him about what ever you are feeling, he would be there to listen...and to ease the pain you feel. This also would make me think you would only turn to your husband because you would feel the love and understanding he has towards you and you would be with only him.
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A
female
reader, shownough +, writes (10 June 2007):
 hold your head up and not allow your family to have this kind of control over you any longer you can feel loved if you first love yourself you are worth it and once you believe that you will no longer have this need or feel this void
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