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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi I've been married for 15 yrs and husband cheated twice. Once 10yrs ago and now again we've now decided to try and make a go of it.But I feel betrayed and not sure if I still what to stick around I feel I cannot trust him its like I see him as a total diffrent person. You know like your eyes open up for the first time and what you see is not really that apealing or what you really whant.Do you think this is normal to go through these feelings, should I just give up? His really trying but I am not really into things here.I mean you do it once you were forgiven and then you up and do it again.Whats gonna stop him from doing it again? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (22 September 2006):
 There is nothing that will stop him doing it again.
What you need to work out is whether you want to make a go of things on the chance of it never happening again and working out or to be made a fool of again and being right back here again hurt and betrayed.
When something big happens and the person we feel we know and trust does something to take that away you will feel like the person you are with is someone you really don't know because after 15 years you think you would know that person inside out then they surprise you.
A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (22 September 2006):
 The thing is, honey, there's nothing to stop him doing this again. I understand you love him and want to make this work but the fact is, if he gets away with it this time, the likelihood is, he will continue to do this to you forever. People like this are better off on their own, not causing problems to your life.
You say you see him as a different person: that's because you don't trust him like you used to and you must have lost some respect for him too, I know I would if someone did that to me. But I just don't get why you would waste more of your life with this loser, trying to make it work, when he doesn't give a toss, or else he wouldn't have cheated in the first place!
I don't mean to sound harsh, I just want you to see that you're worth more than this. It can be hard to walk away from someone you've known for so long but how much longer are you willing to forgive him for hurting you. I believe there's someone out there for everyone and, honey, he is not your dream guy, is he?
Let him go, as hard as it will be, and start again. Find your soulmate. Good luck.
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