A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My Wife and Myself have been together for about a year and a half, at first it seemed like love at first sight, everything was perfect except I could never see her because she was in Foster Care and they didn't let her do much even though she was 18. So being teenager's like we were we came up with the idea of just getting married and avoiding the whole situation, so we did. After about 3-5 months of living together, we started having our disagreements, and they got worse and worse, she became rude, disrespectful, messy, and just complained about everything. I became tired of it, I was ready to say forget this and cut our ties, because clearly we were not ready for what we had gotten ourselves into, but then I find out that she is 8 weeks pregnant, at that moment I didn't know what to do, how could I make my self live with her, knowing that I won't be able to deal with her actions and way of life. Now 6 months later, we have became more and more tense with each-other, I can't stand to hear her voice or even look at her sometimes, sometimes I want to just pack my stuff and leave, but then I think about I have to be here to help for my kids sake. But I just can't stand the way she treats me, she is hateful all the time, and I tell her about it over and over. She keeps saying that she doesn't mean it and shes trying to change, but then a few hours or the next day later she is back at it again, constantly blowing or huffing over everything I do or say. She always wants to be right with me, If I ever go anywhere she is always right there with me, even most of the time when I go to the bathroom she follows. I never can get a moment away from her, I sometimes stay up at night just to get a few hours away while shes asleep, its literally driving me nuts. Another thing is, she constantly tells me she loves me and she can't live without me, all that lovey dovey stuff, I know its nice to hear. But I hear this everyday all day, and It just gets to were I don't want to even hear about it anymore, and I get to the point were I hear it so much that I just quit responding back because if I did id be saying "I love you too babe" every five minutes. I know it may seem uncaring on my part, but no one would completely understand were I'm coming from unless they lived it. She wont go to bed without me, If I do try to stay up to get some alone time in, she will lay on the couch beside me in till I go to bed, I try to tell her to just go lay down and she will refuse to do so, saying the room gives her a vibe shes scared of, but its the same way everywhere we go we've moved twice, me in hopes it would change and she wouldn't be so scared. Iv even thought about just getting a job on the road so I can for sure get some alone time away from her, when I told her about the idea of me going on the road she threw a fit, I just don't know what to do.Long story short is, she is smothering me to death with all the I love you's and being my shadow 24/7, being nice one minute and being despise-able the next, I can't take it. As of right now, I just want this to be over and never date another women again. I feel like I'm living on eggshells. And I can't just up and leave, because she has no job, or anywhere to go she has no family close by and all of the family she does have she doesn't have anything to do with. I want to just leave her and get joint custody of the child and start my life new, an fresh with out having to worry about this issue all the time, I just need a point in the right direction, because I'm completely lost.
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male
reader, Drew21  +, writes (24 March 2011):
 I hate to say it, but it does sound like you to jumped into marriage a bit too quickly.
My first impulse is to tell you that you SHOULD just end the relationship. However, the baby does complicate things.
It sounds to me like she may be a bit mentally unstable. Has she ever seeked psychiatric help? I would suggest this, or even looking into some form of Marriage counseling for the both of you. Talk to someone about the smothering issues. It sounds like she really needs to hear it from a counselor.
If none of the above works, it's important to remember that even if you separate, it doesn't mean that you CAN'T be there for your child as a father.
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