A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Topic started when I saw a girl in the university about a year ago .. From the first moment I felt it was a different girl .. We did not talk a lot just to say hello as colleagues .. She had a lot of friends and was very popular within the university .. i kept my eye on her for along time .. I have heard a lot about her life and her many relationships with guys and it deals with the drug and meet more people around a bad reputation ..All this made ??me feel I am responsible for it one way or another ..About two months ago,I spoke with her for the first time in concert at the university ..I expressed my desire to re-dye her hair red as before .. Then left with her friends and after about a week as surprised as she dyed it and told me she did it for me,I was surprised and came to my mind, she welcomes to speak with me for I am with the time gained great popularity in the university where I got the highest score and my family of renown and prestige in the community ,so I now have a lot of friends and she of course notes each that ..We started talking more and started to accompany me in college for long periods .. We talked on the phone a lot and asked her to change her life style .. She really started to refrain from drugs and alcohol ..almost she cut off her relations with those bad people .. and still telling our friends that she is going to be a different one ..Since a few days in the last day of university I gave her birthday gift .. it was a wonderful necklace and she insisted to lay it down on her neck myself .. it was a great day and she told me that .. she said that she told her mom a lot about me ..All of this, but I think the situation is complicated .. As the features of the relationship between us is not clear .. We did not talk about any aspects of emotional .. I told her before that I admire for almost a year from the first time I see it ..She knew that i`m interested in her to a large degree .. and always say that i`m a different one and she changes her life since i speak with ..We are now in a summer holiday and she lives in another town Which is far from mine about 90 kilometers.. the holiday is long.Of course i can`t see her ..At the first week this summer holiday I took my car with a friend and traveled to her town .. He convinced me to take a positive step ..I bought a wonderful bouquet of flowers ..And asked the shop to reach it her ??home ..I went to her house, where a large nightclub, and there I met many friends, as well as watching the delivery man and make sure that the bouquet of flowers came to her house ..I was waiting her to call me at least to say thanx .. But after waiting about an hour I was shocked badly when seeing her coming in a car with other guy .. It was midnight .. And she wasn`t home while i send the flowers ...I disappear Fast because I Didn`t her to see me but she noticed my friend.. she looked at hem in panic of course she knew that moment I was there somewhere looking at her ..I was really shocked she lied me and was in a car with other guy at midnight while i was choosing flowers for her and driving all this distance to her city .. She didnt predict my sudden coming and my sudden gift ..She didn`t call me since that .. she didn`t even answer my calls .. I send her messages twice and she replied me by 2 messages saying the same thing ( IAM SURY ) ..... I`m now very sad and upset ..and don`t know why she did all that and insist to ignore my calls ..Many friends told me to forget it but iam thinking of her all the time ...Can U plzz tell me what shall i doooo ?
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (13 July 2011):
 I'm sorry did I miss the part of where you two became boyfriend and girlfriend??? Because I didn't see that at all in your post..I see you trying to mold her into this girl you want her to be. Dying back her hair to red, asking her to refrain from drugs and alcohol. Which she needs to refrain from those vices, but she has to want to do it instead of being forced. Then you shower her with these gifts, but failed to clarify wether you two were actually an item or not. It actually goes: 1. Getting to know each other, 2. Boyfriend girlfriend status, and 3. Then you can give her gifts..Basically, you two were never together. You also drive out of your way to see that she gets the flowers you sent her, only to see her taking home another guy. In which she has ever right to, because you two aren't together!! However, I don't think she should have lead you on like she did. I too agree with your friends, let this girl go. She was never yours to begin with. Unfortunately, she was just using you then you got a bit borderline stalker for her likings. Listen to your friends.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2011): I was really shocked she lied me and was in a car with other guy at midnight while i was choosing flowers for her and driving all this distance to her city .. She didnt predict my sudden coming and my sudden gift ..
=How did she lie to you?! Gosh, you came without her knowledge travelled all the way like a stalker to her house so how did she lie to you just because she was out with another guy? i mean you probably freaked her out by coming all that way UNIINVITED.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (13 July 2011):
 i'm sorry man, but i agree with your friends. it's that time to move on and let her go. if you keep persisting and calling, you'll cross the line into stalker zone. hell, she may even have thought it very stalkerish of you to drive all the way to her town without her knowing... i would definitely back off. i'm sorry.
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