A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm Irish moved to Germany 2 years ago , and i'm 29 .I met this guy in a pub a German over here in Germany. He is a lovely guy-- very, very nice guy .Have a small few issues. Met him two weeks ago. Then last weekend i met him for beer and i'm meant to be meeting him tomorrow to have a beer again. He said he wants a relationship and before beer tomorrow he wants to know what i want. My issues are he is 42 and seems very edgy like no patience. He wants to know by tomorrow a yes or no answer? It's just our second arranged meeting? So if i say no, well that's it. But he is full of the charm, i must say!He also can speak English although we did decide we'd speak half German and half English so its fair! I get a break from German. He also can't pronounce my name. He calls me Joanne when my name is Joan. I don't know how to say it to him. "/What would you do if you were me? Do you think the age gap is big? Do you think he is impatient in wanting to know what i want so fast? How do i know in myself if I like him in a relationship way?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 February 2012):
 I agree he's too pushy... and that's not about his age it's his personality.
how in the world could you know after two beer dates if you want to have a relationship with him...
sounds to me like you are not sure you what you want and you need to tell him that and also you should tell him BTW my name is JOAN not JO-ANN...call him and say "HI this is JOAN... when he says Hello Joanne you say ... NO it's Joan not JOanne.. like he has the wrong person...
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (14 February 2012):
 He sounds very pushy..That is a red flag. It shows he's impatient, desperate, pushy, and has a potentially controlling personality. Personally, I would cancel the second beer and tell him you're not interested.
Is his charm enough to outweigh his older age, pushiness, and the fact he can't get your name right?
If you really want to try a second date, then you're going to have to push back and tell him you are interested but you have to get to know him better before jumping in a relationship. It's the sensible thing to do.
Now if he gets pissy about it and keeps on pushing for an on the spot answer, then I would leave the date and tell him to lose your number. There's no need to be that pushy and desperate.
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