A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HeyI need to make my boyfriend more like a GENTLEMAN than a guy that makes me cary everything!My BF is a great guy. I love him dearly and he loves me .. we have one awesome relationship. What bothers me about him is, that sometimes when I have 3 or 4 shopping bags and we get home, he gets 0ut of the car and starts walking home .. meanwhile I am carying all that stuff. He helps me if I scream at him to get his assets back and help, but if I dont he just lets me do everything. ... he never hold door for me or such. Every time I get him a present.. he seems like he doesnt lik it .. he smiles and saiz thank you so much, thats wonderful, but I always feel like it was a wrong choise... than he puts it in a corner (like everything else ) and if I dont get it out of there, he will leave it there until the end of his life! He never helps cleaning up .. untill I get him off of the computer and literaly give him a mop into his hands. He is always pissed about it, but I am not one of those girls, that will do everything alone, meanwhile couch poatato is having a fiesta! I believe everything should be shared! Good or Bad!I myself help him out with cleaning the boat or his car ... we both use it, we both should share the responsibilites.He was raised mainly by his father (his mother had an affair and left them 10years ago). His father is a grumpy old man that is not much of a gentleman either and he is never happy with anything.I am just affraid that my BF will be like his father someday! And that scares me! I dont know how to tell him, that all this bothers me ... I tried couple of times but he just said "Thats how I am" ... Any Ideas?thx
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): Personally, I expect to be treated as one of the boys, so I carry my own stuff half the time unless its impossible for me to do, my man's a true gentlemen but also respects the fact I love to carry my own weight, it took him a while to get used to this, but I told him that a woman is no less able than a man, and that he should give me a chance to prove myself and then if I can't do it, it's not because I'm a female but because as an individual, I cannot do it. He respected my way of thinking and we do fine together. Your man, well, he sounds kinda lazy and unappreciative of your gifts and love. I'd either shape him up or ship him out.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): This is something that needs to be sorted out. If its bugging you now, then it'll probably bug you more and more until you snap. Unfortunatly its not very likely he will change. I was in a similar situation- and i tried to change my boyfriend, it just pushed him further and further away. You need to talk to him tho, and come to a compromise. Maybe you deserve to be with a guy that treats you the way you want from the start.
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