A
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Me and my bf have been going out since last year January.(I'm 19 and he is 29) He is head over heals in love with me and I'm a bit colder. I didn't feel such a big spark in the beginning and I still don't actually but I love him, we have the same interests and we want the same things. He is a very good guy, I can always rely on him, he makes me feel safe, but sometimes I struggle to relax totally when we are sexually active. I'm confused about everything that is going on in my life right now. Will things become more clear to me in a year or two. I don't want to leave him just because I'm not so crazy about his looks, but I also want to feel those butterflies in my stomach, something I didn't feel with him. I'm scared. He is all that I've got. Is there something I can do?? I love him but feel scared and sometimes and pull away. And what if I fall in love with someone in a year or so and they feel about me like I feel now about my bf. Loving someone vs being loved. I'm so confused...What can I do ;(;(;(
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male
reader, Kama +, writes (10 June 2010):
Don't take my answer too seriously, but it sounds to me like you should break up with him. It is very unlikely that he is going to satisfy you emotionally or sexually based on what you say. You are a very young woman, and have your entire life ahead - live it, don't just compromise for someone who you aren't in love with. It will be hard to leave him, as he will most likely hurt over it since he is so into you, but in the end it sounds like it should be done. One sided relationships aren't any good. I would keep looking for that spark . . . even if it's painful for you and him. There are many people with whom you may find the spark.
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