A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Does my ex love his new gf if he does not leave me alone after i've told him to? I don't know what to think!!?My ex and i dated for 5 years and were engaged for 2. I called the engagement off this past march because i was so scared and wanted to be 100% sure because i had never dated anyone else and was just nervous. Anyways, he started dating a new girl 5 months later and i was devastated. I cried and went through that horrible depression and i wanted him back.. Of course i tried to for the first couple of months but i finally realized that it wasn't a good way to go about things and new the best was to give him his space and let this run it's course because i knew i couldn't compete against a new girl. I told him to never speak to me again aslong as he was with that girl because it hurt way too much. The first time i saw him after 1 month had gone by, i had to speak to him about the house we had together. That night he told me how much he misses me but that things are going great with that girl and that he thinks about me all the time and he is confused and gets feelings when he sees me and that he hasn't ruled me out. He ended up making out with me the whole night. Shame on me of course and i ended up depressed again. I reminded him about how we couldn't speak anymore. Well on xmas eve, after not haveing any contact with him for 6 weeks, he sent over a $200 gift card and had even baked me a pumpkin pie since he knew i liked it so much. I didn't know what to think, i immediately started crying and didn't understand why he doesn't understand why i don't want to have any contact with him, it's like he's teasing me. I tried to give it back the next day but he begged me to keep it and said that he thinks of me all the time and that what we had was special but that he's seeing how things go with that girl but that he still likes taking care of me. I had snooped through his phone before we had cut off communication and saw where he had told that girl he loves her and she loves him. The day i tried to give him back the gifts, he said that anything i wanted he would give it to me. I asked him what this new gf would think of that and he said she wouldn't like it. And i asked him what she would think if she knew he was kissing and hugging on me at that moment and he said she wouldn't like that. Apparently this girl has no clue about anything. Before we had ever cut off communication we had hooked up twice(which i know we shouldn't of done) and kissed, he even grabbed me that day(xmas) on my way out and intensly started kissing me. I just don't know what to think, i want him back so bad, it's been 5 months and i'm sick of crying and being depressed. I've done things to improve myself, i graduated from college a few years ago but have gone back to become a teacher, i bought a house. I took myself out of the picture because i knew it was the best option but it seems like he finds away to keep himself in there eventually after time passes and he even has all of my stuff in his room. I mean could he really be in love with that girl( i don't doubt she is a good girl) if he thinks of me and cares about me that much??? What should i do if he tries to get me something else or find someone way to make his presence known??? I told him again this last time that it would be the last time we ever spoke or saw each other again aslong as he was with her. I just feel like if he was truly in love with her then he would just be moving forward without looking back...........
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female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (2 January 2009):
 Totally agree with Honeypie
Firstly do not wait for him to do the right thing, you could wait forever.
Instead, You can take control now and cut off contact.
If you allow him to keep you in his life whilst he is into another woman, he will carry on having his cake and eat it.
He may well have feelings for both, however not an excuse to have both!
You need to be brave, make it clear that you do not want any contact unless he chooses you and only you.
Take care
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 January 2009):
 First off he's not totally over you. But apparently he was seeing her or at least talking/flirting with her before you broke up - unless I misunderstood your post. He likes the fact that he can still pull on your heartstrings. And that isn't nice.Block his calls - delete his emails. Do not reply to any of his advances. Mail whatever he gives you back, don't try and give it back to him. Mail it. That way it is out of your hands as soon as you mail it of at the post office.He might be in love with her too. You have face that. He is just not treating her very nicely by messing around with you behind her back. And you aren't treating her nicely either, because you know he is involved with another girl. Yes, you don't have a relationship with her but you are allowing a behavior that you yourself would not like. Do onto others....Keep up the doing stuff for yourself. Try out a new hobby or something that will get you out and meet new people. Even though he is still trying to keep himself in your life he has moved on to another girl. It's ok to be sad and depressed when a relationship fails. You are allowed to "mourn" the loss of that relationship. You just need to not wallow in it.Was the reason you broke the engagement due to what you found on his cell phone?
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