A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:New Year = New Start - - Should I make it a brave one?towards the back end of 2008 i found myself in a right muddle!! Theres this guy at work that i really do like i like him sooo much the problem being he knows how i feel and has said that he is not ready for a relationship rite now but he thinks im really nice and tht he does fancy me too but doesnt want a relationship at the min due to how his previous relationship broke up hes jut not ready yet!! i really respect him for being truthful and i can accept it as this happened in September so i was totally cool with it just plodding along in life thinking well ya never know one day he'l be ready! So how does it become a problem - 4 of my best friends in the world 1 female and 3 males (not including the guy from work) and myself all went out early december on a nite out, now i used to really fancy one of the lads before this other lad from work came along but i managed to push the thoughts outa mind thinking it wouldnt be right with us being good mates and everything but during this night out i started to get the feelings back, i hadnt been drinking alcohol so thts not to blame! but towards the end of the night he caused a bit of an argument between everyone which spoiled the night and left me worse of than most however later on i gt a fone call frm one of the other lads which is his twin brother and he sed tht his brother had caused the argument coz he really likes me and wanted to get me on my own to talk about it - it all sounded rather drastic to me tho so i said i would speak to them when they had sobered up! Any way iv spoke to everyone since but nothing has been mentioned!! i want to bring it up but i dnt want to cause anymore arguments! and to add to it al my feelings for him are getting stronger and im stuck thinking do i risk the friendship and ask him out right? but then if he does say yes he does like me and would like to have a relationship will i be totally happy with him or will the thought of the guy from work who i REALLY like always be in the back of my mind with a little voice saying not just yet but you never know in the future?? and will i really hurt the guy frm work even though hes not ready for a relationship will he think i just dont care?Arrrghhh!!! i just dont no wot to do! sorry for the length of the question ive probably waffled a load of unnecessary stuff but it has helped me get a bit of it off my chest!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, getright11  +, writes (2 January 2009):
 i think you should choose who ever makes you feel better. that likes you more
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009): I can understand why u are confused I have pretty much just had the smae problem myself with someone not wanting a relationship. my advice is do not get involved with them thinking one day u will have a relationship with them because it can go one of two ways and im afraid it doesnt always work out and it is harder to move on when your feelings for someone are getting stronger. also u will find it hard to meet someone else if u av this guy in the back of ur mind all the time. find out where u stand because them it will be easier to move on the longer u leave it the harder it will be. i know its hard but i have just had to do exactly that today and i feel better now i can move on if he values ur friendship then he wont let it get in the way of still been friends. if you fight to much for something you may end up dissapointed. take the new year as a new start and only fight for things worth fighting for. it will get easier.
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