A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I got with my boyfriend when we were 14 and we split up when we around 16. He got a new girlfriend and we went our separate ways for a while. However, we share the same friend circle so are nearly always in contact, and whenever we are together something sexual happens or we have a big conversation about our feelings for eachother. The problem is, he has a girlfriend, wants to be with me, but wont leave her! Im nearly 18 now, I know im in love with him and he tells me he loves me too. What do i do!?
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female
reader, Abella  +, writes (17 March 2011):
 He still gets his ego massaged by basking in the glow of your admiration. Tell him how much he means to you. And that you are feeling uncomfortable continuing to talk to him (while you have feelings for him) because he is already in a relationship.The aim here is to focus his thoughts.While he can talk to you, then you are helping him 'prop up' his current relationship. Allowing him to carry on about his Gf. But why should you? He has a girlfriend. If his girlfriend is not the one he wants to turn to, to talk things over, well that should tell him something. Let him miss you a lot more. Cut off contact with him. I know that temporarily that will hurt. But remember you already told him of your feelings for him.thus he will still have his current GF only to turn to. If he tension between her andhim rise (which is not your problem) then he is more likely to break up with her.Then if it is meant to be, after he has broken up with her, then he may come back to you. But he has to break up withhis current Gf first. No compromise on that one.Good luck.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 March 2011):
 What do you do? You look at him for what he really is, not what your feelings and good memories want him to be.
Put yourself in his new girlfriend's shoes. How would you feel if you were being cheated on? How would you feel if he were having deep conversations and sex with an ex behind your back? You'd think he was a lying ass cheater worthy of being kicked to the curb as fast as you could kick him. All of your friends would be telling you to drop him.
Get the picture? This is not the same guy you were dating from 14-16. You're now dating a cheater. He says he wants to be with you because that's what you want to hear, and it's enough to keep you pining for him and at his beck and call. However, if he truly wanted you, he'd have left his girlfriend. Instead, he wants HER as his number one and you on the side to serve his sexual needs.
His words are worthless. You are in love with a lying ass cheater. He is doing it to you, and he will do it to you again and again. What you do is not celebrate your 18th birthday by pining after him and being the accomplice to his lying, cheating ass ways. The two of you broke up. Accept that it was the right decision and move on.
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