A
female
age
30-35,
*enny j
writes:i have been in love with a man for just under 3 years, we started off whist we were young, lost our virginitys to each other, however during the early stages of our relationship i constantly got bored and would look for something else, my psychologist says that as i had an unstable and bad childhood i am used to go from pillar to pillar and used to things not going right, so i almost have to create a problem myself, for example i cant let myself be truly happy. i have always been quite possessive over him, but when someones your first love can you blame me? i would have a go at every girl he got with. we broke up for about 6 months and during that time i went out with someone who i really cared for, and maybe even loved but perhaps i dont want to admit that because in my eyes it taints what i have with my boyfriend. anyway me and my boyfriend decided to go back out again but properly, not messing about or me fucking him over like a used to, but a real proper relationship. it's been six months and it's gone great, however during the period that him and i were together he slept with a couple of girls, and i feel like i just can't get over it, like this deep anger comes over me and i want to tear my room too shread and i want to tell him to f off and i want to dump him. im also very graphic in my head so i imagine him sleeping with these other, slutty boring girls who are just rude and nasty. i know i am a hypocrite as during the period we weren't together i also slept with other people, but i feel as if it psychologically affects me more than it does him, although i know it really makes him angry thinking about it. how do i cure this posessiveness? sometimes i feel like theres a part of me that hates him and i get so angry to the extent that i am going to ruin my entire relationship, and i dont want that. i hate that feeling when i imagine him sleeping with those girls, i know im the only one he's ever loved and it's the same for me, and everyone always says "those girls meant nothing, you both did stupid things, what matters is that you two love each other" but thats not it, i know that but i still hate him for it, as well as girl he slept with claiming that he got her pregnant which broke my heart even more. she "got rid of it" whether you can get rid of something that wasn't there in the first place i dont know.. maybe im just in denial. Does anyone have any advice or know how I can over come this self-defearing posessivenes?
View related questions:
broke up, move on, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, naomes +, writes (18 March 2011):
 I feel that you should let these thoughts go as you are torturing yourself thinking over these issues. Carrying on your life with him your happy enjoy that time and see where it goes from their. This was a time when you wasn't together so technically this has nothing to do with you but I know it has hurt you emotionally your partner knows how you feel he was honest and told you he didn't keep it from you and came back to you in the end. So you've got two options either you can never forget and feel angry and bitter for the next six months and let it eat away at you or you can move on and be happy in yourself and with your man and take each and every day as it comes. I hope this helps you. X
A
female
reader, jenny j +, writes (17 March 2011):
jenny j is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSORRY I MIS WROTE A WORD I MEANT TO SAY 'however during the period that him and i wereNT together he slept with a couple of girls' HE HAS NEVER CHEATED ON ME
...............................
|
