A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now. While I was pregnant I checked his emails and found that he had been talking about how much He loves and misses his ex. When I confronted him he calls and tells her he's going to be with me and what they had is over. Great that's around thanksgiving. On New Years we have an argument and he brings up the fact that he can't stop thinking about her and I put him out. I feel if he wanted to be with her then let me be. Well he stays gone until February 12th, and he comes back crying and begging me to take him back. He says that he's done with her and made a mistake. I ended up going into labor February 16th and everything seemed fine since then. Well for some reason I decided to check his email and he's back emailing her again. Saying the same things about missing her and loving her.!so here we go again I put him out. As of today he's been gone for 4 days and he came to see his daughter and now he's back calling saying that he loves me.He said he wanted to be honest when we started our relationship 2 years ago him and her were going through things and he fell for me, and thought he would get over her but he didn't. But he says now he's confused because he loves her but he also loves me. He wants to make it work and said he can't be without his daughter and he realizes he made a mistake. I feel like I should just leave him where he is but I don't know what's best? Looking for insight from someone please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2016): I'm not sure how to respond to everyone individually this is my first time ever being on this site. But I did want to come back and express how everyone individually has helped me stay strong. He hasn't been back since I put him in, and I've also been in contact with a lawyer to set up visitation. It's extremely hard because I love and miss him, but I have to love myself more and everyone individually helped me to realize this. When I get down I've come back and read your responses over and over. So thank you all!! Now we are constantly arguing about how this visitation is going to work but I'm sure we'll figure it out soon. Thanks again everyone!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2016): He doesn't need a relationship with you to be with his daughter. Kick him out, and as another aunt suggested get yourself checked for std's and stop believing his BS. Your priority is you and your daughter, for the short time he was part of your life he helped you have this beautiful girl but he's done little else. So while you were pregnant he runs back to his ex, has had his way with her and suddenly reappears to you when he's a bit bored of her. Family life isn't as exciting as he hoped so what does he do? Oh that's it, he emails his ex with the same lies and BS he says to you about missing her and still being in love with her.This will be your life, this man will play you should you keep him as a partner. Would you want your daughter to grow up and be treated like this? No, and you shouldn't allow someone to do the same to you. I would tell him it is over for good, you go and get advice about securing main custody of your child, him to pay child support and arrange visitation rights. Then it's up to him to chose whether he visits his daughter or not, and you keep him at arms length and don't let him mess you around any longer. I would tell him you hope to hell your daughter doesn't grow up and meet a man like him and now he has a daughter he should take a long hard look at himself and realise what a complete ass he is.Let his ex have him, he's not worth the fight whilst you are worth an awful lot more than being treated like this. It won't be easy being on your own as a mum, but it's better to be on your own that with someone who doesn't love you and doesn't deserve you - that's harder!Enjoy your little girl, and enjoy being free of someone trying to emotionally twist your feelings and manipulate you to take them in.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 April 2016):
 Awww, I think you need to face the facts.
This guy loves ONE person.... HIMSELF. He plays the whole yo-yo back and forth relationship to make HIMSELF feel great. He has 2 women wanting him and HE can pick and choose whom to be with at any given time!! All he has to do is cry and declare how MUCH he loves (whomever) either of you and BOTH of you are naive enough to take him back.
He "claims" he can't be without his daughter... but where were he when YOU needed him during the pregnancy?
Honey, you DID the right thing in kicking him out.
Next task on the to-do list for you is:
to contact Child Maintenance
a lawyer for a visitation schedule
your doctor for a STD panel.
And FOCUS on you and the baby, not him. HE is SOL (sh!t out of luck) and on his own (I'm sure the ex will take him back if he whines enough to her...
Stop wasting your energy on him. That, you need for your wee one and yourself.
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A
female
reader, miss frank  +, writes (4 April 2016):
This sounds absolutely awful, and even more so as you have just given birth! I truly hope you have family and friends around to support you both practically and emotionally right now.
This is so vile of him- what a spineless man. He head no business bring with you and contacting an ex, especially declaring his love for her! If you can bear it, you absolutely need to get rid of him. He seems to want what he can't have- which ever of you it is at the time. Don't be his option
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (4 April 2016):
From a man....Did you plan to have a relation with your boyfriend and another women??? Do you plan to share her with him??
If the answer is NO...then you are holding to him for what reason??
If you say you are holding on because you love him...then you have to accept him being with another woman... And you have to love her too, because she will be sharing him. Oh wait until marriage comes around.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (4 April 2016):
 Hon, for your own peace of mind and wellbeing - dump the man!
He clearly is cheating on you with her and on her with you.
Stop being an option for him. File for child support for your little one and keep things very formal between you. Discuss only the barest of things relating to finances and your little one.
He has royally f*cked up and now he doesn't get to choose. There are consequences for his actions and now he must pay the price.
Do not let him move back in. Get yourself to an attorney and to your doctor for STI checks.
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