A
female
age
36-40,
*orbiddenLove3
writes:I'm in a Love Triangle, which you could compare to Sex and the City's Carrie-Mr.Big-Aidan. And I don't know who to chose. In my case I've been in a relationship with Aidan for a year. He's the sensitive type that would do anything for you.He's down to earth. The kind of guy who's your boyfriend/bestfriend type. We could stay home and play video games on a friday night and be ok with it. Although he is 25 he is still a bit immature at time's.Now on the other hand My Mr.Big is 28 years old. Very good looking and has a career. He is Dreamy,Passionate,and also a bit sensitive even though he doesnt show it. When we are together it feel's perfect. It's that kind of genuine passionate love everyone is looking for. But it scares me I feel this way for him because we never officially dated. We were talking for a bit but everytime it was getting serious I ran back to my Aidan. I did this about 5 times already to Mr. Big. I feel bad for hurting him but even though he still tell's me he's waiting for me. And how we could have something good. And how i make him feel no one else has made him feel that way. I don't know why I'm so afraid to commit to him. Maybe its because im comfortable with Aidan. I love Aidan but i dont think im in love i just think I love the person he is. I dont think I'm even attracted to him. Please help me make the right decision idk what to do. Should I pick Mr. Big or Aidan?
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (2 December 2010):
 First, remember that show was written specifically to create appealing drama and garner ratings, not to portray a realistic way of handling relationships. Real life is rarely so forgiving.
Anyway, relationships where one party leaves another in order to be with a new person almost never work out. Big will lose a lot of respect for you if you dump a guy just to be with him. Big also, in all likelihood, has options. Options + lack of respect = getting used.
"Love him but not in love with him" is often a rationalization for trying to "trade up," and I've heard a lot of girls later regret leaving the guy. What it really means is that you passed the honeymoon stage of infatuation and are now in your comfort zone. Your instincts are trying to protect you from committing to the wrong guy by forcing you to feel tempted - but instincts can't tell who the wrong guy is. They just kick in before you get too attached.
Try to be more active in dating Aiden. Next week, on Monday or Tuesday, ask him to go out Friday night instead of staying in. Do something active - dancing, hiking, whatever the two of you like that involves physical exertion. Cook a meal together. Do this for a few weeks, with real enthusiasm, and see if the spark is back. If so, celebrate. If not, break up as gently as possible.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): You're snoozing and you're going to end up losing Mr. Big. Is he single, attached, married? If single, lock him down. If he's attached, handcuff him and bring back home before he gets himself into legally. If he's married, forget it he's legally bound. You better go get your Mr. Big.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 December 2010):
 Well if you're an avid SATC fan then you would have been rooting for Aidan the whole time..He's exactly what Carrie wants successful, down to earth, sweet, considerate, but yet she gives him up to cheat with Big. Big who tosses her around, Carrie chases him around NYC like an idiot. Finally, he proposes to her after 10 years they get married. But in SATC 2 she couldn't help that past romantic history with Aidan and ends up kissing him. Now, I'm just ranting but I feel like Carrie was an idiot for passing up Aidan but of course the show would have ended there.
Sounds like you have commitment issues when it comes to Big. Your run back to Aidan because you feel comfortable with him, he's safe..someone you know. But you said yourself you don't love him. So quit stalling and running from your Big before he marries a Natasha then your stuck waiting 8-9 years to get him back and right where you want him. Give him and love a chance.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): i think you should pick Mr big, your just using Aidan if you keep going on like this your going to end up losing both, but to be sure write a list of who has more to give
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