A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:This may sound really stupid to alot of you but here it goes. I met this girl one day for like 1 minute she was a mutal friend of a friend. I felt something the secound I saw her, she admited she did too. Here is where it starts we knew each other for like a week emailing and talking on the phone for like 5 hours at a time. We went on a date and decided to become a couple. We moved extreamly fast, I admit. Every thing was going great, the conversation spending time with each other and the love making. To quote the song she is only the best I ever had. And I am not just talking in sex. I had a realy bad week, for the entire week I had 4 hours of sleep. To add to that I was getting stresed from my job which caused the sleep loss. She wa sout of town on work, and visiting old friends. She was honest and told me that she wil call me when she gets to the airport but wishes to spend time with her friends knowing how long we can talk on the phone. This was all in the same week. The day she was supposed to come home I did not get a phone call or text at all, I called and texted about 6 times total, just wondering what happend are you ok or are you mad at me kind of thing. She final called late that night and told me, all those messages was a bit much, and that for know we are over. That red flags popped all over the place, and that was how her ex husband was. She said for now I lost her, but I still would consider being a couple again just not now. She claims she wants to be just friens for now, but here is where it gets interesting. She was having car problems which I knew about, so just being courious on this friend thing I asked how her car was doing, did you get a new one or get your old one fixed. I knew the real answer because like I for mentioned problems with my job caused me to get a new one. So I was the person who sub,itted her car deal book to the banks for aproval. She does not know that I work behind the sceans in the dealership. She told me that her car broke down a few times, she ended up getiing it towed and she is borrowing her moms car. Which I knew was a lie. I did not call her on it at all. I was about to, but our mutal friend asked me how much did I know about her ex, I told her all I know that he was controlling and it took her 4 years to get divorced from him. She filled me in on the rest that he was in some religous cult, driged her into it as well, told her how to act how to dress, when they will have kids. That it was so bad her parents had to rescue her. She never got help from a doctor about this, but I then learned excatly what the red flags are. I admit we knew each other for 1 week before we became exclusive, and slept with each other as well. We where planing weekend vacations. All this in a matter of a month. As well as talking about kids how many and names. So know knowing all this, I still love her and want to be with her. But the reason why it freaked her out is because she only knew me for a month. She did not know that is not the person I am. So I feel the best bet I have would be to send her an email, which is how we realy started talking, but write the email as if it was the very first one. But this time gi slownd let her know me as well as know her. Do I have a good idea? Sorry for being so long but wanted the full story out there.
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broke up, divorce, her ex, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (13 July 2009):
 After such a whirlwind romance and breakup I would be reeling myself...wow!
But look at the facts. You know already from the car incident that she was lying to you. she broke up with you suddenly over text messages you sent when she was supposed to be coming home. 6 in a day may or not be that much considering if it was out of concern for her welfare when she didn't come back. But if she is gonna plan a life together with you after such a short time, and then breaks it off without batting an eye... and knowing she has these past issues, my advice to you is that continuing this relationship is going to cause some unwanted drama in your life. Drama you don't need
This gal has the red flags of 90 miles of bad road all over her. I think you need to cut your losses and move on.
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (13 July 2009):
 well the thing is that she's clearly not over what happened to her previously.
i think you should take that into consideration and yes admittidly it was a very short time knowing her and getting into something that quickly but i guess when you feel it's right why waste time?
anyways at the moment i think giving her time is the best thing you can do for the moment give her some time and space alone with herself gather up her thoughts and feelings and then she'll come back to you knowing whether or not it's right.
anyways for now leave her be and let her contact you the ball is in her court as it will be her decision whether or not she wants to get back into contact with you.
hope this helps
x ilovebowsandcherries x
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