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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I'm "seeing" my ex again after two years of back and forth where I'm always hurt. I'm not sure if this time is any different aside from him originating that we're "seeing" one another. I don't even know what that means.I met him Halloween 2007 and we started dating that week. I have never had so much fun. It got fairly serious pretty quickly and all his guy friends loved me. They said I was the first girl he had ever brought around that they liked, and that they had never seen him so happy in a really long time.Back history on him - Firstly, he was married for 5 years to a college sweetie. They divorced on mutual terms and I actually know her and have become friends with her. After that he had dated a woman with a baby that wasn't his and for 2 years he fathered her. He wanted to marry this woman and step in as the child's dad. She ended up cheating on him and wouldn't see him anymore even though he forgave her. She wouldn't let him see the child either. He's been weird ever since per what his friends tell me. Commitment issues and apathetic about life.Back to our relationship... we had so much fun together had super hot sex, and sometimes he would just stare at me and when I said "what?" he'd say he was just admiring me. He broke up with me out of no where 6 weeks later after his best friend proposed to someone. Then he started to date a 40 year old co-worker. He's 32 and I'm 23... that was weird.Since then, about every six months we end up sleeping together again. It's always super hot and affectionate, but then someone else comes along of interest to him and he just disappears.I can't get rid of him though because, since we dated I've become friends with his friends and his best guy friend (that had proposed while we were together) just married my best girl friend who also happens to be my neighbor. So he's around ALL the time.At the bachelor/bachelorette party we ended up hooking up (he instigated) and it hasn't stopped. That was two weeks ago. The sex is SO good and he cooks me dinner and we see movies etc... but I told him it was hard to keep my emotions about it at bay and had a mini breakdown. I've been trying not to fall for him for two years, and I've just been hung up on him for forever.So last night he says that he enjoys my company, my companionship, and of course... the super hot sex. He said that he feels safe around me and loves talking to me. But he also says that he can't see himself being "good" for anyone right now and isn't sure if he can be in a relationship but that he'd like to try seeing each other. Not dating... but "seeing" each other.Is he just saying that so I'll keep sleeping with him? What do I do with him??? I don't know if I should just emotionally take it slow and not put pressure on him to see if it'll turn into something, or if I should just nix it before I get hurt. He's someone I can see myself marrying and having kids with. We're great friends and have similar opinions and viewpoints on so many things. He's always telling me how insightful I am and how it's scary how well I know him, because no one does since he's closed off.From an exterior opinion - what does this look like?
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best friend, broke up, co-worker, divorce, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): Love Lust or Bust -
Thanks guys. As much as I'd like to deny it, that's basically the truth of the matter.
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (13 June 2009):
 While we are only giving opinions based on what you have said and we don't know his side of things but what stikes me as a very red flag is that he has left you a couple of times for someone else. The hot sex and comfortable relationship are not enough for him or he would have stayed the first two times. My honest opinion is that you are a placeholder until the "right one" comes along. This is not easy for me to say to you because I do not want to hurt you but honestly, I only wish someone had been honest with me in the past when I was in a similar situation.
Find someone who is over the moon for you, will do anything for you and will not tip toe around the issue of committment. You seem like a great catch and you deserve to be with someone who admires you and whom you admire. It seems that this relationship is out of balance.
All the best to you. He is out there.
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