A
female
age
36-40,
*4d3
writes: Help! I've never been one to have a strong sex drive but recently, like the last year or so, the libido really kicked in. I was engaged but he didn't have much interest in warming up those sheets more than once a month. You see where this is going. I cheated on my fiance about 2 months ago. I did realize something was wrong with being in this committed relationship and cheating (not typical of me)so I broke it off. He moved out of state and I continued with a "friends with benefits" ordeal with guy I cheated with. No dating just sex. I recently began cutting ties with fwb guy because I have a gentleman who would like to be my "sugar daddy" and I'm strangely ok with having a loveless relationship and being spoiled for a while. However, I stressed out big time a couple days ago when original fiance left town (very sad goodbye, severe guilt!) and just last night found some bumps down there. They look like HPV so I scheduled an appointment to be tested. I have to tell all parties involved and am HATING myself for being so stupid and am terrified how they will respond. I'm sure sugar daddy will change his mind - so what and can't say I blame him I wouldn't go there either - but I don't want to hurt my ex fiance and i don't want my fwb to hate me we really are friends aside from the sex and had been for a couple years before screwing around. So who to tell first? Do I wait for a definite result? How can I ever forgive myself for this? Anyone else been there? Gah!
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engaged, fiance, libido, moved out, my ex, sex drive Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, s4d3 +, writes (4 August 2010):
s4d3 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Doc said I'm free and clear. Lesson learned!!
A
female
reader, s4d3 +, writes (4 August 2010):
s4d3 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni realized i missed out. He was a good guy. pschological issues working against me but all i can do now is the best i can by him. One of the hard parts is I have no idea if I had this issue before and it never surfaced or if I got it cheating. Either way it sucks. Very disheartening and I don't even feel worthy of a good guy at this point hence the break up ='(
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A
female
reader, s4d3 +, writes (3 August 2010):
s4d3 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell since posting this I did tell the friend with benefits. He's angry and convinced he couldn't have given it to me though I know it could've been either of us. What a mess.
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A
female
reader, Unsure07 +, writes (3 August 2010):
Hi s4d3! Given the details of what has transpired I would suggest that you tell all parties involved, regardless of how they look at you. If I were the innocent, monogamous person involved I would want to be informed too. I would feel a great deal of hurt and disgust when you told me, but nevertheless you should do what's right. The saddest part is that you probably really missed out on a good guy simply because of your infidelity and he at least deserves to know.
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