A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 16 years old and I went on a vacation with a friend and her family last summer. I met some of her families friends and there was this guy, he was pretty cute for an older guy, and my friends family had been friends with him for 7 years. Me and my friend would go out every night with him while on vacation and walk the beach and he was very "touchy". But I didnt mind it or anything. But I realized I should keep it as a just friends relationship considering he is 34 and has 2 kids with 2 different wives even though at the time he was seperated. So when we came home from vacation i had his number so i called him and he lived right down the street from me. I went over his house like every day but we never went as far as sex but we did do other stuff. At this time I was still trying to tell my self dont fall for him, he is too old and has kids. Age really doesnt matter to me but it still seemed wrong considering all the other obstacles. He moved and got back together with his wife but we still talk and i go meet with him at his friends house occasionally. I have spent the night with him one time over ther and hung out with for a few hours a couple of times. We also go to the same gym. And even though he is back with his wife the night I spent the night we still messed around like before. I finally cant listen to myself anymore when i say dont fall for him, it has already happened and i cant do anything about it. I really like him and ive made the mistake of telling some of my friends and they threatened to tell so i just say that i dont talk to him anyomore even though i do. I have only 2 friend i can talk to about this because none of the other ones understand that you cant help who u fall in love with. I really like him and has told me he loves me. I realize he would never ditch his family for me and I would never want him to but he is not happy in his marriage. I am freinds with a few of his friends and they tell me every thing about that and even the stuff he thinks about me. They have told me he likes me of course that was obvious and that he just doesnt want to get to seroius because he knows that would be wrong because he is married, the possibility is high for divorce. I really dont want to ever lose him even if the realationship stays how it is because i realize it is very doubted that something serious like marriage would come from this unless we were to remeet years down the road. I am 16 so it is not illegal. What should I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2007): Look I understand how you feel.But you need to understand the Pandora's Box you're messing with here.Lets say you two start sleeping together (if as you say the age of consent is 16 in your part of the world as it is mine). What happens when his wife finds out?Believe me she will. No doubts. You could be an MI6 Super Spy and you will still get caught.Not to mention the repercussions that are gonna take place when the shit tully hits the fan and your family find out. Chances are high that they will get cops involved.The guy possibly cares for you in the same way (I'm 24 and fell deeply in love with a girl your age and I would cut my hands off before I touched her), but he has other concerns that you should know are more prelavent for him right now.So do the right thing. Either keep it as a friendship (the girl I told you about before is one of my closest friends, and whilst she no longer feels the same way about me as I will always feel for her, she is still a blast to talk to and has helped me through some major rough patches) or just let him go and focus on a relationship that is not completely doomed.You may not be able to choose who you fall in love with. But you sure as hell can choose who you act on those feelings with.Flynn 24
A
female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (2 December 2007):
 Well technically you are still illegal because you are not 18 yet and he is still 34. He has 2 kids with 2 other wives. It seems he couldnt commit enough to his own wives so what makes you think he can with someone younger? He isnt right for you and the both of you seem to realize that a little. YOu should already know there couldnt be anything between the both of you so whatever it is that you have, maybe its for the best you let it go before it gets too far. Let him take responsilbilty for his own family that he has with 2 other women. Believe or not, You can do better sweetie!
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