A
male
age
41-50,
*hlez83
writes:First, I'm in a distant relationship and love my gal too much. This is what's causing da problem. I think about her to the extent of my head aching. I miss her so much that it really hurts. Sometimes i feel she doesn't love me as i do because she doesn't call as often as i do. Is there a remedy to calm my heart and stop my mind running like a wild horse? Coz i think i'm really getting depressed. I do trust her but i just can't stop imagining things.Second, I get horny at times and do not want to cheat on her. I turn to masturbation. Is it necessary to tell your partner that you masturbate?Lastly, I want ladies' opinions on this one. Is it necessary to inform your woman that you want to get circumcised and if I do it without her knowledge, would she get upset?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007): firstly, you could have a chat with her about how you feel for each other. you wont look stupid, you are just being honest. she will be happy that yo feel this way about her. secondly, masturbating is better than cheating so there is no reason to tell her, she probably knows you do it anyway. thirdly, she probably wont mind if you wish to get circumcised, it is healthier to have it done anyway. take care!
A
male
reader, chlez83 +, writes (26 October 2007):
chlez83 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd by the way she's not really into computers like me and i plan on teaching her myself or taking her to a computer course.She's really not into tech like me.
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A
male
reader, chlez83 +, writes (26 October 2007):
chlez83 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx again guys.Hey sandman i meant telling my woman and not my parents.Well my girl is about 5hrs from me but i only get to see her once a month and i'm busy trying to convince her to come stay with me for a while but da problem is she works,her parents and she's not a gr8 fan of sex.I call her as often as i can.She claims she doesn't call me as often due to financial reasons.I think such honesty is unnecessary,she'll find out on her own,maybe later.
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A
female
reader, JaffaZ  +, writes (26 October 2007):
 Hey,
If you miss her so much, maybe you should consider visiting her...? (Unless it's too far away/too expensive/too awkward) If you miss her to the extent that you're head is aching, maybe you could find something else to occupy your time with. Like a hobby or something. Also, I find that if my mind is racing, I like to listen to music. Do you and your girl both have some kind of instant messenger? Like msn or yahoo or whatever? Because if you do, it might make it easier to "talk" more often.
About the masturbation thing: I don't know if it's different in your country, or for different people, but in Australia it's not necessary to tell your partner if you do it. Actually, I think some girls find it awkward if their boyfriends tell them about stuff like that...
And the circumcision thing: I'm not too sure, but I don't think it really matters whether or not you tell her. It's your body, you can do what you want with it without the permission of anyone else. But if you think your girl is the kind to get upset over being kept in the dark about something, you may want to consider mentioning to her that you're thinking about doing it.
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A
female
reader, just-ask-xx  +, writes (26 October 2007):
 Well, hi :) Look, I know that when I had a long distance relationship with my fiancee last year, he masturbated, and I was fine with that :D and your gf should be to. And if I was your gf, I would support your choice of getting circumcised, after all, it's yours :P. I would tell her though, if you do it without telling her, she may feel you don't tell her anything, and that is even more complicated with a long distance relationship. And as for the distance, I'm sure she is just a upset about it as you, they take work. Maybe she feels that if she calls you more, she'll miss you more. And I'm sorry that I haven't been much help about this but I felt I had to say something and I've wrote it now so...there you go!
Reply if you want to, and please tell me how it all turns out, even if this isn't the advice you use, I really want to know how it turns out :)
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A
male
reader, Sandman  +, writes (26 October 2007):
 Thinking about her to the extent of your head aching? Hmmm
Well, I don't know what to say about that. I guess you could just stop thinking about her soooo much - but that's probably easier said than done. How distant is distant? Could it be that she doesn't call as often as you do because it's expensive? She may only be able to call/contact when she does for financial reasons - just a thought. But the head aching thing, I really don't know so I'm not gonna try...
GREAT! You don't want to cheat on her. And you turn to masturbation. But why do YOU think it necessary to tell your parents? My answer to that is no it's not necessary to tell your parents - in fact, most American parents would just rather not know (although I'm sure many of them assume). But is there a cultural reason that you would need to tell your parents?
And I know I'm not a lady, but I'd still like to answer about circumcision. I don't think that it's necessary to tell a woman that you are not yet married to about your penis. I would think that she would be just as happy with either penis on your wedding night - regardless of it being circumsized or not. What you do with your body is your business, not hers. But again, is there a cultural reason that you would need to share this with her? I keep asking that because I see your flag says Zambia. That's all.
Those are my answers.
Hope this helps.
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