A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have been with someone for almost two years. We are moving in together in 2 weeks. Whats mine is his and vice versa. I love him dearly but I have trust issues with him. I have never caught him cheating on me but here are a few examples of what he has done that make me question him: 2 different my space pages-both of which had only girls as freinds and many of these girls I found out he was instant messaging them late at night. He's had girls call his phone and text messages to and from girls but one in particular was from him asking a girl to go for a ride on his motorcycle (when asked about it of course he told me it was his roommate who text this girl and not him). He asked me to get his paycheck out of his top draw to go to the bank and surprise there were 2 condomns in there. I have done this same task many times and there have never been condomns in his drawer. When asked he says "they have always been there." No they haven't but anyway. One thing that really bothers me is that he has to go outside and talk on the phone. Unless its his mom I can't remember a time when he has talked on the phone in front of me. Also, he lies... or has different, very elaborated stories or excuses for things and of course it is always his roommate's fault. He spends about 95% of his free time with me, tells me he loves me all the time, tells me how beautiful and sexy I am all the time and I am the only girl in his life but I still question him and don't trust him. I love him dearly and have considered breaking up him because of the trust issues. How can I trust him when it seems that every couple of months there is something else that happens that hurts me and makes me question him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (22 June 2007):
I can tell you that he's cheating on you...DV1
A
female
reader, angelica111 +, writes (22 June 2007):
If you don't get clear answers to your questions from him, you have the proof of him wanting to cheat or seeking to do so. Your intuition is the most important factor plus all the details you've noticed. Has there been a problem between you or another issue that he may be going the 'wrong' way in your relationship? Please listen to your inner voice, that's always the best and right answer when questioning things that are not easy tp prove.Take care :-)
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (21 June 2007):
Ok so you move in together in two weeks, do you think you are going to start trusting him then? You say he spends 95% of his free time with you always tells you he loves etc etc, so when does he have the time to be unfaithful.
If he has a few girl friends you could try asking him if you could all go out together at some point as you would like to meet his friends.
Maybe you should delay moving in, and see if you can resolve the issues you have because when you are living on top of each other it could get a hell of alot worse.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (21 June 2007):
Ask him straight out what's going on. If he tells you there is nothing going then it's down to you whether you believe in him or not. It does sound suspicious what he is doing, but it doesn't make him a cheat. A relationship needs trust to survive and if there isn't any there isn't much hope for it. Explain to him its his behaviour that is making you suspicious. If you both dont come to a compromise over the way he acts and your lack of trust in him then I think it may be time to call it a day.
Good Luck!
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