A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: After 2 years and 10 months of going out, I just can not find that spark with my girlfriend any longer. We've gone through these phases before in the past, but this time seems very different. I no longer look at her and desire her for sex, and quite frankly, I get annoyed just being around her. She usually spends weekends at my apartment, but it's gotten to the point where I dread her coming over just because I end up losing my freedom and feel so cramped. However, the second she leaves I'm jumping for joy at finally having space again. She's a wonderful person, but I'm just not happy anymore, and I don't want to continue leading her on in a relationship that could end very soon. I have tried working on some issues: have tried to spice it up in bed, have tried to go out more and even shop and buy her stuff. Even though she loved all of that to death, I just feel emotionally unattached to her now. We've built quite the relationship for the past 3 years, and I'm so scared of ending it, but I think ultimately it would benefit me. Ideas?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Richard_EMids  +, writes (3 December 2007):
 You have described more than enough reasons to demonstrate this relationship is over.
So why are you "scared of ending it?" What exactly is making you scared. Is it telling her? Is it emotional support? Is it companionship? Whatever is the answer to this question will be the area where you need advice. Have a think and update.
Richard
A
male
reader, SamuraiRick +, writes (3 December 2007):
 I think internally your relationship is over. If she's spending weekends at your place and you're not having sex that's bad! And then you get all happy when she leaves. Yes, in so many ways its over but not officially. Its better to end this sooner than later if I were you. Maybe you shouldn't have her over on weekends anymore. Start with that and just see her on dates.
I don't know if this a totally hopeless case, but it just sounds like either you have lost your desire for her and its permannent or you are just not ready for a deep relationship...with anybody.
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