A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello all, I recently started having sex and have a problem. I was a virgin just until a few days ago. I started a relationship for the first time in my life. I am able to have an erection at the start of sex but lose it when I start having intercourse. I do not use a condom (but she is on birth control). I'm not sure why this is happening as I can get it up when I'm by myself or even with her but I just lose it when we start having sex! I need advice please, I really just want to solve this problem. Thank you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2013): Hey original poster,I wrote the response about "morning wood". Have you tried the advice in my P.S.? I mean, have you asked her about using her hand on you during sex? You should try to get 3/4 of the way using manual stimulation, either by her hand or your own hand.Also, do you use lube? Even if she gets very wet, lube can do wonders for a guy. If she uses lube on you with her hand to get you going, well...trust me, you'll get going! ;)You're definitely thinking too hard about all of this, though. Don't turn sex into some kind of main event of the evening where the pressure is too intense. Try to have an early evening together where you just lie naked in bed. Don't jump to the sex right away. Keep yourselves in close physical proximity and let things proceed naturally to sex when your nerves are more calm.Hope this helps!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2013): Hey all, original poster here. Thanks for the info guys, I tried looking up my problem. I know the problem is psychological mostly because I can get erections fine in the morning or by myself sometimes. I used to watch porn a lot but drastically reduced how much I watch it and it seems to have helped. I'm starting to get really anxious because I want to satisfy her but I can't do it. I have tried giving her oral but unfortunately she didn't orgasm from it; I don't have much sexual experience at all. I'm 26 and she is 24.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2013): It's probably nerves, especially at your age. Simple solution: we blokes always have erections in the morning. We wake up with them, whether we're horny or not. It's called "morning wood".Use it to your advantage.Next time you go to bed together and she wants to make love, focus solely on her. Use your hands, oral sex -- whatever gets her off. Just focus on bringing her to orgasm without caring about your own pleasure. If she asks if you want something for yourself, tell her no, all you care about right now is her pleasure. She will be impressed.When you wake up in the morning beside her, see if she is in the mood for another round. If she wants to go for it again (and the previous night should be a good aphrodisiasc!), then you've got your morning wood to back you up. The natural blood rush into the penis in the morning should be good enough to maintain your erection for the session. A successful session like this will boost your confidence, and also convince her there's nothing wrong with you and that you definitely are attracted to her.Most of all, don't think too much. It is easy to psych yourself out.Good luck.P.S. Many men also don't realize the benefits of having a good hand job when making love. Suggest that your partner stroke your penis for a while, to get you in the mood and half way there. This will make maintaining an erection much easier. It also gives time for more foreplay, which will be of benefit to both you.My sources? EXPERIENCE, bro. ;-)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2013): been on the same boat before,your just nervous,its called performance anxiety, learn to relax and take control,do not take how or if you will satisfy her as a first priority,with time it will stop,goodluck
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