A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've done something really bad to my best friend in the whole world and I feel so bad about it I feel sick. He's a guy, and I'm a girl, and we have a really good friendship where we just joke around on the phone practically every night for ages. We're both single and have discussed joining online dating agencies - I haven't, but he did. The big shock was, he joined gaydar.co.uk - because he thinks he might be bisexual and wants to find out more. I dont have a problem with that and we had a good chat about it when he told me. For weeks I jokingly said to him, I'm going to track you down on gaydar, and pretend to be a gay man just so I can sleep with you - it was all big a laugh and we both thought it was funny. Anyways, lately he's been feeling really down so I went on to gaydar to see if I could maybe find a nice guy in his local area and then send him the links to the guys profile, but by accident, I found his profile, and me being the nosy cow I am (I feel terrible about it now) clicked on it and read it. I know I shouldnt have read it and I felt really guilty afterwards. I didnt tell my friend I had read it until today when it came up in a conversation. We were laughing and joking about these online dating sites, and then I just blurted it out. He hung up on me straight away and now isnt replying to my text messages. I feel like a right cow. We always have a laugh and I didnt think it would be a big deal, but I felt guilty after doing it so I know it was wrong. We've always had a very open friendship and have discussed our sex lives with eachtoher as well as occasionaly sent eachother dirty photos, so it's not as if there was anything on there I havent seen before - but its really upset my friend I think. But its done now and Im so scared I've lost my best friend in the whole world over something silly I did. What can I do to show him Im sorry? I feel like crap.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): I dont see why he should be so angry about it. I mean you alredy talked about everything and he told you he has put his profile there. Maybe there is something else that bothers him and not just the fact that you have seen his profile there. I believe if he is a true friend of yours that wont ruin your friendship and he will see he over reacted.
A
female
reader, I care  +, writes (6 April 2008):
 try emailing him and explain things to him like you explained things to us like why you where even on that sight and explain that your sorry and you ment no harm and ask him if there's anyway you guys could fix this problem. I'm sure he'll read it and hopefully understand and also explain you'll give him some space if that's what he wants and wait for him to contact you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): I don't see what all the fuss is about to tell you the truth. If I was him, I wouldn't be shocked that a female friend might read my profile. Especially one as close as you sound to him.
How strong & serious was the assumption in the air that you would not read it, anyway?
Is his embarrassment from you seeing his most strongly homosexual side of himself that he didn't show you before? Or is it something specific, like a sexual preference or something?
Obviously you both knew it was crossing a line of trust, or you would not have both instantly realized it when it got mentioned in the conversation.
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