A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am desperatly in love with my female teacher and i dont know what to do. have been really really depressed in this last year and she is the one who stopped me self harming for good. She is literally the only one i trust out of everybody i know and i tell her every thing. Shes 22 and amazingly pretty but i dont thinkI love her as im definatly not lesbian or bisexual. When ever im around her i feel uncontrolably happy and content as if nothing in the world could ever bother me, but when imNot with her or near her i get extreamly insucure and start shaking and i go all quiet and wont tell anybody whats the matter. When im sad she is the only one that can calm me down, beleive me alot of other teachers have tried but i dont tell themWhats wrong untill im with her. Before i go to sleep i sometimes find myself making up small fantisies about her saving me from danourous situations and cuddling and holding me when im crying and it helps me get on with life. I know this is getting out of controll and i cant tell any one about it but all my friends think im just being a teachers pet, what they dont realise is that i litterally cannot live without her. I sometimes also wake up crying from having had a dream where she had left me or even died. Im desperate- im really scared shes going to one day abandon me too and i will be left in such a state. How on earth can i get these feelings under controll before anyone notices?? And also how can i prevent myself from feeling so lost and insucure?? Im absoloutly petrified shes going to leave me...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2011): The trouble is though my whole family have basically blanked me but this teacher seems to know how to calm me down and understand me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2011): Okay thankyou. X
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (16 July 2011):
 do you have any other family that you are close to? aunties, uncles, grandparents? you just NEED someone who is there for you, to know someone cares. you see, whatever help you thought at the time your self harm was giving you at the time, you have just replaced this with a fixation on your teacher.
so, while it is really great that you have stopped the self harm - the problems that led to it are still present, but you are dealing with them (or not) in a different way. this is why i say you need professional help.
your teacher sounds like she is a good support to you so i think you should tell her exactly what you are going through right now. it is not healthy for you to be so dependent on another person that you get panicky and upset when they are not around
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2011): Its not really that- ive stopped self harming for good now because i've realised its very dangerous but its just that when im not around her i feel insecure and like know One listens to me. No my parents are not good. Divorced and haven't talked in years. Ive tried opening up to my mum but she gets angry. Thanks for your answer it really helped xxx
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (16 July 2011):
you are fixated on this teacher and you know this is not good because there is a very good chance that one day you will be parted. you need to establish a way to cope with your self harming issues that does not involve being reliant on another person, so you can learn to rely on yourself and also it is not fair on this teacher to make her have the responsibility of your happiness, well being and mental health.
did you not get professional help for the self harm? you need to, even though you have stopped, it would still benefit you greatly to talk to a professional about your feelings. do you have good parents? if so, you should really open up to them and ask them to help you. if not, i think you should open up to your teacher and let her know there are still these issues that you need help with, she can put you in touch with a someone who is trained to help you
x
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