A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and i have been together for a year. We love each other and have been through a lot including break ups that are slowly getting more frequent. (this worries me) In the beginning he was completly enamored with me. I took his virginity. He took me places bought me things, you know really tried to put me under his spell haha and it worked. I love him more than i've ever loved another soul. But i mistreated him because well...I was used to guys treating me like crap. my problem is this. Now that im out of school for the summer he doesnt want to spend as much time with me. He only wants to play video games and be with his slutty friends. At times he acts rude and cocky and critisizes everything i say and do. He says he resents me a bit for the past. We talked and he does make "an attempt" (thats what he thinks it is) to change and be sweet again. But i know he isnt being genuine. I can tell he is a different man. Should i stick it out and hope for the best or try to put my life back together without him?? Please help me. Im lost and in love :(
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male
reader, lsickle +, writes (16 June 2010):
i would say that if u truly love him and u know he truly loves u then this is a rough patch...and and stick it out....on the other hand it seems he has resentment for u doing whatever u did my best guess was guilt trips...and things said that would lower his self confidence.....now his resentment would be a little different....as u said he gave it his all and tried to treat u what he thought was right...and by no offense mentally abusing him (im not trying to pick on u but being in bad relationships from the past and having been mentally verbally abused and not seeking help for it your doomed to repeat the pattern my wife suffers from this in relationships but also from her family double jepordy for me) u have past the art of verbal abuse onto him and because he is raw and new at the relationship thing he took his cues from u and is now being a mirror. Just so u know this is the route my marriage has takin. I told my wife i dont like guilt trips i wont use them unless provoked....now we have championship bouts of verbal assaults every other day. This went on for a year in the last two months i staryed seeing a shrink i have been put on medication and showing improvement my wife is another story...basically my point of tellin u that is i know exactly what happened how it happened and why your here. Just know its his fault and yours. Out of everything u read today this will be the most important....its blunt but i have seen it untreated up to my wifes age and she is only 25 but because of the abuse u took u should seriously consider seeing a dr or therapist what have u a phsyichiatrist (i know spell fail) a shrink can perscribe meds to help a therapist is so u can talk. This will anger u most likely but there is freedom in washing the dirty laundry. As for your relationship its hit its groove and if both of u dont consider serious change in behaviors attitudes and respect for one another its a road to nowhere sorry
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