A
female
age
30-35,
*il-angel182
writes:I'm 16 and hoping to lose my virginity to my bf of 4 months whos 20, i know many people will think that this is to soon but i know he's the one. He makes me feel so loved and gives me butterflies everytime he calls and i've never felt this way about any guy before.I trust him completely and know he loves me as he travels 300 miles every month to see me even when he has no money lol.The only thing im worried about is how effective being on the pill and using a condom is cause i really dont want to end up pregnant? and also how much it'll hurt and if theres anyway to lessen that?
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female
reader, girlwhoneedshelp +, writes (27 November 2007):
 The condom is 99% accurate at keeping you safe and the pill is also 99% accurate so using both is a brilliant idea. If you're boyfriend is a virgin, which is doubtful at his age, then it would be safest to use a condom because let's be honest, you don't know if he has any sti's or not. He might not want to tell you about them. If he is sure he doesn't and you trust him then I wouldn't even bother using a condom if you are on the pill. I am on the pill and me and my boyfriend of two years were virgins when we met and we hate using condoms. They dull the sensation that the man feels and also don't feel all the great inside a woman either.
When you have sex for the first time it might or might not hurt depending on the person. If you have used tampons it may be less painful than if you haven't. To be completely honest it really hurt me. It's not as painful as you think it's going to be so don't be frightened. The best way for the first time has to be the woman on top because you have complete control at how far it goes in and how fast. You have full control and this is important as it will be painful.
Don't expect to feel any pleasure the first time. Your boyfriend will but you won't. You just have to practise and the more you do it the less it hurts and after a few times it shouldn't hurt at all.
Remember sex is the most loving and natural thing in the world for two people who love eachother to do. There's nothing to worry about. Just enjoy yourself and be safe.
A
female
reader, disGRACEful +, writes (27 November 2007):
 Im happy you've found someone you're willing to make that commitment with. He sounds lovely :)
The pill is around 98% effective.
Condoms are around 97% effective.
Using them together would be very wise if you really dont want to get pregnant.
Without them you have around an 85% chance of getting pregnant.
The pain depends on the person.
For some people its painless.
Others its not, you'll just have to wait and see.
Have fun ;)
Be careful!
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2007): I hope you realize where you live this is probably illegal. Do your parents know about this relationship? And why are you thinking of having sex with him when you've only seen him once a month for four months? It doesn't sound like you're ready to make love to him.
As for the pain, if you do decide to go through with this, as long as he's very gentle and you tell him if he needs to slow down or if you feel any pain, it should be fine. A compassionate guy will be very careful when he has sex with a virgin, so I hope your guy is as good as you think he is.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2007): I lost my virginity at 16 to a 24 year old. The thing is, unless you plan to save yourself until you are married it is still best to wait a while longer, a couple of years maybe. It will hurt mildly and you will bleed so keep a towel on hand. Make certain that you both get tested for any and all sexually transmitted diseases... THIS IS IMPORTANT! always use a condom no matter how and who says otherwise and to confirm - a birthcontrol pill is up to 80-90% effective, but this doesn't mean you can take a chance.Be certain that he will be gentle and understanding, that you take your time and get your first time over with. It will only get better as you experiment with what you feel and enjoy. Sex can be a wonderful experience to share with someone you love. But always keep in mind that you will fall 100X harder for the man or woman that you share your first time with.I stayed with that 24 year old for 9 months - which felt like forever. He was a jerk and immature, he was a total loser, but i didn't want to see it. When he ended it with me i cried for months, and compared him to the next few men i dated. This is normal, but don't look back and settle for anything other than what you want. If he isn't willing to meet with you where you feel comfortable, toss him/her aside, you will find many wonderful partners and someday you will find one that will make you feel like you are taking your first breath.
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