A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hiya i have a ten month old son and i dont wont ot go to work yet, my boyfriend always tells me that he makes the money he pays for everything.i know that!! i have look for a job to do at home so i dont wont to miss out on my sons life, i have depression and i have given up on trying to be happy my life is with m son but he makes me mad going on about working and money i have told him that im not ready to work yet not at m sons age but he doesnt listen.I have had depression since m son was born i thought i was because i moved from my mum i wonted to move back i still do but he wont come with me so i desided to stay with him but the bad thing is he acts like i dont have depression little thing hurt m feelings and i told him that lots of times but he still says things that hurt me like' Im the one who make my money' i no that doesnt sound bad but the way he says it again and again.what should i do i feel like screaming at him and moving away i dont no please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): I know how you feel believe me. If you have been diagnosed by a doctor as depressed then I hope you are having some sort of treatment as it can esculate beyond help.
Your partner obviously doesnt understand depression and the effect nor does he understand what it is like to be at home all day with a child, as enjoyable as that can be. If you will be happier moving back with your mom then you should, your baby will feed from the ora that you give out, so if you are unhappy this will create unhappy vibes for your child.
Being the money earner is simple. You go out, make money and come home, usually having conversation and laughter throughout the day. Your partner would not last a week if you swapped roles. Next time he throws being the earner at you - tell him if he wasnt prepared to provide for you then he should have worn a condom!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2007): Firstly, you need to get some help from your doctor if you havent already done so. Post-natal depression is a very common thing, so dont feel ashamed or a failure. You need to be 100 per cent for your baby BEFORE anyone else, and in that you need to put YOURSELF first. I can garuntee once you get medication you will see things a whole lot different.
Your a first time mum, and we all know that babies dont come with a manual!!!! You do need the support from your mum. Thats who we mothers learn from. maybe you could stay with her at the weekends? that gives you and your baby time with her away from your partner.
I can fully understand why you want to stay home with your son.
I have done it with both of my 2 children. I know some women "have" to work, and i dont condem them for that. But your time will come to contribute your "bit" and earn independently. your partner needs to understand that, and not remind you of it all the time. He has a family to provide for now. Do you remind him how many times you have been up in the night? how much laundry you have done? cleaning? making formular? I bet you dont! yours is a 24hr job. UNPAID. remind him of that!
Good luck.
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