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Losing her is the last thing I want to do so how do I stop pushing her away?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 April 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 10 May 2008)
A male United States age 51-59, *r.Worry writes:

I have put my girlfriend through a lot with my insecurties and jealousy. She has lots of male friends which drives me crazy. They all look better than me and I know they aren't childish like me. It's like the slightest thing comes up and I get all jealous. The thing is I know what my problem is and what I should do. I'm disabled. I can walk but have a limp and a have paralized right arm. Being an ex bodybuilder,what little self-esteem is all but gone. I need to learn to let things go and stop being so sensitive to the smallest of things. I feel her love slipping away which make me say the wrong things.Last night she put her phone in the car to charge it. I took this to mean she no longer wanted to talk me.Fact was her charger wasn't working so she had to use the one in the car. That's just ONE example of the crazy things I do. I love her so much.maybe too much.I know she needs space but I'm so afraid she'll find someone else, someone with self esteem. How do I stop myself from saying things that I know are pushing her away? Losing her is the last thing I want to do.

View related questions: disabled, jealous, limp, needs space, self esteem

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A male reader, Mr.Worry United States +, writes (10 May 2008):

Mr.Worry is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Mr.Worry agony auntThat's a great ideal macmicheal! If someone treats me like they don't care,I feel less wanted and want to change it.Maybe I can make her feel the same.Thank you

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A male reader, macmichael United Kingdom +, writes (10 May 2008):

OH dear me

You poor guy your feeling low self eesteem so your woman is leaving you !

i dont think any woman from our culture can put up with low self esteem , certainly non that ive met.

Try and act confident like you dont care about what she does. Hopefully she will see you as confident again and come back to you.

BUT BE WARNED your in a VERY VERY dangerous possition with your self esteem so low. thats why she is moving away from you !

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008):

Que sera sera. Proceed with your normal daily activities. We are given this life to learn from our mistakes and evolve. Obsticle-overcoming it-learning from it. I think that's the whole point of the game. Some do it gracefully, some are slow learners.

From this perspective it's a bit pointless to spend your energy on trying to keep your gf. She is free to make her own choices in life. Keep doing a good work looking inward and evolving. Why don't you try taking a yoga or pilates class?!

This is just my opinion. I am in a similar situation right now.

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