A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So have you ever been under a woman's spell? I mean, have you ever been in a relationship with a woman whom you knew was bad for you, but you couldn't break away?I had this kind of relationship last year. A woman I was seeing had me under some kind of power. Even though she was promiscuous and untrustworthy, I kept coming back to her. She was so beautiful I couldn't help it.I am still recovering. I only broke it by forcing myself not to reply to her calls and not to see her. But still I fear I might one day go back.Has anyone else had this experience? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (29 March 2012):
 I could give you a list.... but I think there's a limit as to how lengthy a "reply" can be, here on this site....
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 March 2012):
 I think, sooner or later, at some point in life, it happens to everybody .
But it's no magic spell. She is not a fairy nor a witch, and has no magic wand. I'd bet anything that , no matter how stunningly beautiful she is, there are hundreds of men who would not give her the time of the day and would be impervious to her charms.
Because the power she had , did not come from something special within her, it came from you.More precisely, from some sort of void or lack ( good old lack of self esteem maybe ? ) that you chose to fill in a dysfunctional way.
Something was sorely missing from your life, - and you tried to fill this void with a toxic relationship, some as other people resort to drugs or alcohol or gambling, to dull the pain and make up for what's missing .
Start figuring out what's missing, and healthier ways to possibly get it...and you 'll become ( reasonably ) spell-proof.
Well, at least being drunk on love is a prettier sight for those around you than being drunk on spirits :)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2012): You were intrigued by her beauty. Yea that happened to me one time with this guy Jimmy. He was totally not my type. He was tatted and looked like a homeless skater. But from the second I layed eyes on his beautiful blue eyes I was under a spell. I stared at him alllll night long.
The only other time I was under a "spell" was with this guy I dated who mistreated me and cheated on me and threatened to ruin my reputation if I broke up with him. Threatened me in a lot of ways if I broke up with him. So I was coerced into putting up with it. He was a headache to get rid of.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2012): people do this all the time - they get into and stay in relationships/marriages that are bad for them, with people who are toxic.
a lot of the time it is due to some weakness within yourself, that prevents you from either standing up for yourself such that the other person treats you better, or else walking away if the other person insists on continuing treating you poorly.
She doesn't have any super power over you. usually it is some weakness in yourself that makes you compromise.
...............................
A
female
reader, itcantjustbeme +, writes (29 March 2012):
 I can't say as a female, I've felt that for another woman... but I had a thing for a guy because he treated me horribly. I felt like at that point in time, almost like I deserved it. Like when he put me down, or told me to do things that I normally wouldn't allow someone to have that much control over me; I just did it and didn't think twice about it. But its good that you recognized the situation and you removed yourself from it. If her actions were not on your moral map (some people are into the poly-life...not making a judgement, just saying.) If she was doing stuff you weren't into, and she was just tailing you along then you did the right thing by leaving...But if you're asking for some unity... a lot of people have been through that and I bet if you looked in your social circle plenty of friends would feel they been through the same. Maybe it'd give you more of a support group so that you don't go back.
...............................
|
