A
female
age
41-50,
*lli
writes:I am together with my boyfriend for 6 years now. We live together for 5 years and we match well together. We have had hard times, but now we have grown together, have many things in common. The thing is that he claims he is "free bird", never had longtime girlfriend, now feels so happy to have girlfriend, sometimes introduces me as his fiancee, but never actually has asked me to marry him, just when I bring up the topic, then he says that if I want to marry, he could do (like giving a favour to me), but that is formality etc. In one word he is not at all enthusiastic. But I don't want to move on with relationship- have children, for example- if I am not married. And I would like to have children, but he doesn't care about having children, he has art. We have 20 years age difference, but he is an actor therefore artist and is very active and well known. The age difference doest feel. If I would be pressing him to get married, he would, but I feel as I am worth more than just dragging someone who doesn't really want into marriage, it would be nice to feel some efforts from his side. None of us has never been married. I am considering breaking up with him in order to find new relationship, because this one is paused and doesn't progress.
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female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (19 April 2009):
 This is sad, because I remember knowing a guy who went out with a woman for eight years. They were waiting to get a place before they got married. Well, she died in a car crash before they could get married.
I agree with the person below me, find someone else.
A
female
reader, Elli +, writes (19 April 2009):
Elli is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey! Thanks for the answer! Actually I have thought about moving in and getting married relation and i totally agree with you. Just that when I moved in with him I wasn't even considering marriage, it was all about enjoying the life, now we have bought apartment together, it is more difficult.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (19 April 2009):
 I would move out and move on. He has made his feelings quite clear. If you are in the 35 year old age bracket, sitting around waiting for him to "change" is just wasting your time, if you want marriage and children.
Next time, don't move in. Moving in with a guy gives him everything that he would get in a marriage, without the marriage. There isn't any reason to actually go ahead and GET the marriage certificate after that, it's just a piece of paper, right? At least - that's HIS reasoning... If what you want is an actual marriage and children, then DON'T settle and move in. It's almost impossible to lead the horse to water AND make him drink after that!
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