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female
,
anonymous
writes: I just have a few long-term relationship questions that I can't ask anyone I know because they don't seem to know themselves. Answers from happily married women would be most useful.When you start a relationship with the person you're going to marrry do you know it will be the person you're going to marry? Do your feelings change dramatically as the relationship gets longer? How soon is too soon to move in together? Do your relationships tend to turn out just like your parents did? If you have a man who's had a hell of a lot of ex girlfriends in a short space of time, is it likely that a marriage with him won't succeed?Sorry, I know it's a lot of questions but they just keep flying around my head. Thanks xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2006): Look at your own question again. You seem to have very many doubts. That should answer your question in itself. If he is the right man for you, you would not even think twice about these questions and making these commitments. Sorry!
A
female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (21 September 2006):
 Just how Happy are you looking for? I am married to the perfect man, we have a couple kids, and a mortgage. I am now more in love with him then when I married him. I count myself to be one of the very few lucky ones I didn't just find my true love I found the fairy tale, and it just keeps going and going and going. I had to kiss a lot of frog to find him though.
So I am going to assume I am qualified to answer your questions.
When I started my relationship with husband we were just friends I never had a thought of marrying him. He had started to push for more time together and then one day I just knew, it was like magic.
My feelings haven't changed dramatically over the years they have slowly grown stronger each day.
My husband and I never lived together before getting married. We never had sex before marriage either. We both have very strong beliefs and we support each other in them.
My marriage is nothing like my parents, I adore the ground my husband walks on and he me. My parents can't stand each other. I talked to my husband before we were married and told him my fear of becoming my parent's marriage. We have worked together these years to create a loving, strong marriage.
I dated a lot of men with past more colored then a used child's coloring book but the man I married has no colored past, his dating experience was limited and a very chaste one. All those men I dated so many years ago, everyone that I have run into has gotten married and gotten divorced.
Words of advice from one who has walked the lonely dating road where jerks and losers are plentiful and still found a perfect guy.
Looks fade over the years, hair thins, wrinkles do appear, and things start sagging, but personality, manners, humour, and the way stress is handled will not really ever change. It could but don't hold your breath.
Date men who have the same beliefs as you. Communication is a big reasons for marriage failures. If you don't see eye to eye on little things how are you going to handle the big things that come along. Lies are never good, for true love can't be if the trust is not there. Don't put up with any name calling, mean teasing, or put downs. Those ruin communication and your self-esteem.
Money is the biggest break-up reason for marriages. If he or you have problems with money then it will be a huge source of problems when you are married. Learn to be wise with your purchases and have a savings that is a percentage of your yearly income. Look for someone who is also wise with their money, has savings, invests wisely, and doesn't blow money on selfish items.
If you want the perfect guy then you need to be the perfect girl to attract him. Instead of looking for the perfect guy, improve yourself and he will find you. If you want to date, date for fun with no complications(no sex), date guys you would normally over look, try out new things, be silly, be you.
It is a tough game out there and I remember the ache of being lonely but it is worst to be with the wrong guy then to be lonely.
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