A
female
 ,
*una~
writes:My boyfriend was divorced before I met him. He was very young at that time and got married after his little girl was born. He's a very responsible guy now and before, but only a little on the conservative side. His wife left him because she soon found out the fun of partying and drinking which my bf opposited. She cheated and ran off with another guy who she lives with now along with the daughter.My bf was very hurt and thought he will never have the courage to find someone he loves and can trust to be faithful to him. About a year and three months, we started going out. We have a really good relationship. And we both love each other dearly. We even talk about the future together. He wants me to move in with him all the time (because we are in a distant relationship). I was very concern with the words "move in with him". I wanted to move to OUR house instead of me moving to his house. He understood and acknowledged my concern.One day (a while back) when we were driving in the car, he all of a sudden said he doesn't want kids (later added at least until he's 35), and he doesn't want to get marry. I was really sad and bothered. I understand from his point of view. I know he wants me as a life-long partner. Call me old-fashion, but I just want some kind of commitment title (engage, or marry) before I move in to OUR house. Do you think he will propose to me one day?I'm not ready to get marry yet, but I really want to find out if my bf will ever want to get marry. I don't want to ask him directly because I don't want him to get the wrong impression of me forcing him to get marry. Anyone have any thoughts about this?
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (21 September 2006):
 I can understand his worries, he's been hurt badly and because he was married to her he puts the two things together, there is a good chance that in time to come once you both are living together and there is full trust in your relationship he may feel the confidence to give the marriage thing another try hoping this time will be different although this may not be the case, I was once in a relationship with a guy who really never wanted to get married he just didn't see the point in marriage and I excepted his view and want because I loved him and wanted to be with him even though it mean't giving up my dream of one day getting married, three years later he proposed to me I don't know who was more shocked me because I never thought he would propose or him that his wants and views had changed, what I'm saying is time may change this opinion of his and it may not either way you need to think about whats more important being with him or getting a ring on your finger because you may have to accept you can't have both, there is nothing wrong with talking to him about this in a casual way maybe the best way to not get him freaking out but really when it comes down to it only time will be the honest teller.
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