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Long distance romance gone wrong....before it even had a chance

Tagged as: Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 February 2012) 1 Answers - (Newest, 6 February 2012)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi,

here's my agony of the day:

I met a great guy online (Okcupid). By great, I mean that he's highly attractive to me, has the same fundamental interests, religious views, and hobbies. Even a similar smile!

I know this isn't love, but I'm smitten.

We messaged back and forth a few times, but last night he told me that he just is not looking for a long-distance pen pal (he lives 1700 miles away, in Canada, I'm in the midwest), and told me he hopes I have more luck with the guys here. He said that if I lived near by, he would have asked me on a date.

I'm quite upset, because for me geographic location is not set in stone. I told him this in reply to his message, then said that it probably does not matter from what he thinks, then wished him all the best.

His reply was "Thanks. Good luck."

Nothing anymore...

This always happens to me! In the rare chance that I do find someone wonderful, they are somewhere far away! And now I'm ridiculously upset over some entity over the internet!

Help me!

-sad, lonely girl

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2012):

Well, it looks like you two did not have the same intentions of the outcome of this cyber relationship.

He just wanted an online penpal, while you were thinking that he is a great guy and a possible boyfriend. One has to remember that knowing someone online has it's pros. I mean that one can say things ojust make believe to the other person, things that are not really there. One could just act that way so that the other person like him/her. So one could never really be sure whether the other person is being real or he is just a constructed character.

You should move on. You should go out and have the real relationship. You can't give up trying to find a real guy from your own country. Everything could be so much easier, why making them difficult? I am sure that in your country there is at least one guy that you could hang out with. Who knows, he could even be living in your neighbourhood, or even hang out in the same places you do!!

Therefore I suggest that you should just try to go out more, make new friends, maybe even find new hobbies that could make you meet more people. The fun in meeting real people out there is more fun than just staying in front of a computer hoping to find a guy!!!

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