A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi all. First of all, I'm a European girl who is still 16 but knows what she really wants. For 3 weeks, I've been dating a guy which is black. I'm extremely in love with him. We love eachother so much. We're so made for eachother but my family WON'T accept him for nothing especially my mum. He works in catering but don't really have that much money which doesn't affect me. What should I do???? I would give up anything do be with him!!!
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (31 August 2012):
 Madly in love after only 3 weeks is typical teenage behaviour, which thankfully passes with age for most of us. A fact your parents are well aware of.
He is 6 years older than you are. He can vote, drink, lease a car, an apartment, get a credit card, get married without parental consent, to name a few things. At 16 you can do none of those things. He has more life experience than you do which gives him an unfair advantage and you don't know how he will use that advantage 3 months from now. Another fact your parents are aware of.
You'd give up anything to be with him. Really? ANYTHING? That doesn't just mean chips and cheesies, you know. It means ANYTHING and can include a home, your friends, your hobbies, your education, your plans for the future, your family, your safety, your self respect, your modesty, your privacy. You did say 'anything'. Yet another fact your parents are aware of.
He has no money. Of course you don't care now, because you don't need it now. Your parents are providing your food, shelter, clothing, education, medical and dental care, among other things. Yet one more fact your parents are aware of.
He is black. The fact that you made a point of mentioning that suggests to me that you are not black. Cultural differences may seem exciting and exotic in the beginning, but over time they can become a problem. A big problem. Yep, another fact your parents are aware of.
Your parents may be dull, adhere to antiquited beliefs and are out of tune with what's 'in' in your opinion, but they have been tried, tested and are true. Your boyfriend is young, relatively inexperienced (but more so than you are), untested, so he is an unknown variablem (at the very least). I would choose your parents over him.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (31 August 2012):
 MY 16 year old daughter would not be dating a 23 year old man, period, and I'll bet that's why your parents won't accept him as a suitor. That age gap is gigantic at your age. And don't give me that horse hockey about how mature you are cause I don't buy it and neither do your parents. The proof of that is the fact that you have only been seeing him for 3 weeks and yet you profess undying love, very typical of a 16 year old girl. I should know, I was one and raised two. If you go behind your parent's backs and see him on the sly, you will regret it. They will find out and lose all their trust in you, which in turn will make matters worse. Your parents are just doing their job, you should listen and obey.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 August 2012):
 Honey if you are 17 and he is 23… that’s 6 years… if you are 16 that’s 7 years he should wait till you are 18…. The gap between 16/17 and over 19 is HUGE…. Later on it’s not such a big deal but right now it’s HUGE…
ARE you a practicing Catholic?
Is he a practicing Muslim?
If either of you are religious there will be problems…
You are not telling me why you love him
You are not telling me what you would give up
IF I was your mother I would tell you point blank, he doesn’t live close, we are of different religions (and I assume color since you mentioned it in your first post) you are still a teen, he’s an ADULT and to be honest any MAN that wants to be with a TEENAGED girl has the potential to be immature or have other problems that don’t bode well for a mature adult relationship.
I can get why your mom is feeling what she is feeling.
Can you give me REASONS as a mom that I should welcome this man into my family to make my daughter who is still growing and maturing happy, knowing that what she wants and needs at 16 is going to change in 6 months?
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A
female
reader, Nscerri16  +, writes (31 August 2012):
eyeswideopen : He is 23 years old.
So_Very_Confused: He is 23 years old. He works as a chef which isn't a bad job. His religion is Muslim and from Ghana. I'm Catholic. I would give up anything really to be with this guy. I'm crying my eyes out for him. He hasn't got that much money but he is saving up to buy a car so we can meet with no problems when it comes to my mum. Really guys.... he's so special for me. We're crazy about eachother.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 August 2012):
THREE WEEKS.... (not very long at all)
WE LOVE EACH OTHER (do you now? really? tell me how you know this is love)
HE WORKS in CATERING (busing tables or such?)
He doesn't have money which doesn't affect me. (well it doesn't at 16 but what about as an adult?)
you would give up anything to be with him?
would you move out of your home where mom and dad are and you get free food clothing and shelter to live with him even though he has no money?
would you give up school?
would you stop eating?
what really is this all about honey?
and yes HOW OLD IS HE
why does mom say NO?
his age?
his job?
his education?
his race?
his religion?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (31 August 2012):
How old is he?
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A
female
reader, FunkeyyMonkeyy  +, writes (31 August 2012):
After three weeks you dont know that. 3 weeks isn't even enough time to get to know someone, love is not what your feeling even three months isn't truly long enough to love someone!
If you won't give uP on him it sounds like you've made your mind up and there isn't really a point is asking what you should do. If your boyfriend dont get on with your family, then that's when you know it's going to be next to impossible to truly work.
Your only 16 and you've known him for only 3 weeks
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