A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am currently in a long distance relationship. My girlfriend and I dated for over a year in college then moved pretty far away upon graduating (~8 hour flight). We decided to try the whole long distance thing since we really love each other, and we trust each other.Lately, she has been hanging out a lot with one particular guy. They've gone to two movies together, and after one of these she even went back to his place to talk for about an hour before he took her home(mind you, she tells me it was like 2 AM). They've also been out to dinner one on one. Honestly, it does bother me. I dont mind my girlfriend going out with guys, she needs new friends. But I really mind this guy, it appears to be more than just friendship. Am I looking too much into it, or is it justifiable for me to be worried?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): As someone who just broke up with my other half (Long distance from the start, it's complicated) , I can tell you that it's true, trust is the main thing in LDRs!!
I didn't trust my ex and that's why she's my ex...
The little you care about this guy, the more she's going to appreciate it, and she's going to find it attractive that you have the confidence not to consider this guy a threat!
And if, oh and by the way i really hope it's not the case, but if she is into this guy, then being jealous or showing that you're worried will not help anyway, it'll just push her further towards him. Good luck!
A
male
reader, Racna1305 +, writes (21 November 2010):
 Ok honest truth man? Long distance requires alot of work and trust. Most of all communication and each party has to put 150% in. Not 150-100 not 150-125. So that being said you need to tell her how you feel. Now I know how that will end because if she respected you she wouldnt do that knowing she is in a long distance relationship. Thing is man college and long distance dont mix, one being you are physically there and other people are. You both are at the age where you are growing and wanting to explore and to save you some heartache i think you should explore too. Please dont put your heart on hold for someone who isnt worthy. If you had something great that is fine and if it was meant to be she will come back. Thing is she is going to movies with this guy, over his house and if you keep this up you guys will have the "Lets take a break" talk which means she is trying to distance herself from you.
First see if she is acting different towards you. How are you to communicating, does she act the same? How often do you see her? Judging from the distance I say not a lot. Perhaps you should stop contacting her for a lil and see if she comes along and reaches you. If she doesn't then she wasnt the girl for you, go explore man. Long distance relationships are extremely hard and most of the time they dont work because people are willing to put in the time and effort. I know this from experience, I been through that 3 times already due to college and I was just like you on this site about a year ago asking the same question with the same problem and settings.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 November 2010):
 Well its normal for you to worry yes, you are so far away off course you are going to be anoyed and a bit paranoid it is completely normal behaviour, however am guessing she is being brutally honest with you as am guessing it was her that told you about this guy, and if am honest then she is being really open and honest with you, and this means that she respects you a lot and will tell you anything its more worrying if she was hiding this guy with you.
But you both need to discuss were your future is going, as long distance is very hard and it will eventually become to hard to deal with. Have use talked about when youse will be together in the future and have you'se made plans to move closer together, this relationship is not going to work unless you both decide on what you want in the future and one of you move closer to the other, talk to her about this.
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