A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Im 32 and have been split up with my husband 9 months today, im having good days and bad, today is bad as Im feeling so sad and lonely and I cant imagine ever being truly happy again. I havent eaten properly for months and I feel like im fading away. On a good note I have taken up salsa dancing as a new hobby which i am enjoying, but i also feel like i could be getting obsessed with it as its the only thing apart from work going on in my life. Would appreciate any advice on trying to make a full life for myself again or any words of wisdom.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2007): Well glad to hear your throwing yourself into salsa dancing. I did the same though a little later on after divorcing from my husband. If you have no children and you are working, you have a whole host of things to do with your time and money. Keeping busy is key to your own well-being but not to the point of exhaustation where you are running yourself into a state of complete exhaustion.
I began doing a course in something that I've always wanted to learn about. I did a six-week course on film as I love the movies and found it really interesting and met some interesting people too. You don't have to introduce yourself as 'Hi, i'm x I'm only doing this because I broke up with my husband and if I don't keep busy I'll fall off the map". You don't have to divulge what has happened, its in the past. Make a list of 5 things you've always wanted to learn, or do more of, it could be like reading a book etc...there are lots of great books I've read on how to pick up the pieces after a traumatic issue in your life and keeping true to yourself. Get yourself to the book stores and really do some research. I've found reading some books very enlightening. Sometimes I read something and thought, that's me, so that happened to her too. Some of the stories have made me laugh out loud. Keeping true to who you are and going back to what you liked doing yourself and what was once important to you will slowly come back. Keep dancing it make you feel very exhilirated. Well done you are doing really well.
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (29 April 2007):
 The salsa is a great idea for trying to get your life back. Finding yourself single must be such a shock after years of marriage and in time you'll feel ready to get out there and meet people again, although it might still be too soon for you. Everyone is different and has their own timeline for moving on. I guess the best thing you can do to get through the really difficult periods is just to occupy yourself as fully as you can. Never turn down an invitation to do anything and, if you know that there's a difficult time coming up ahead where you'll have lots of time on your hands make a plan to go on a weekend away or similar to give yourself some space from your comfort zone. The more you push yourself to stay busy and involved, the easier itwill come in time. Good luck.
CD
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