A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 23 year old girl and my most embarressing problem is that I've never had a boyfriend.I've had problems in the past with me having been sexually abused when I was 9 and really bullied at School. I have been asked out by lads before but found out that they've only asked me out for a dare. There was 1 lad at the time, whom I really liked asked me out, assuming that he was like all the others and said no. Not realising until afterwards that he was genuine. Then when I was 22, I had lost my virginity to a friend, who happens to be married. I know that it was wrong to get that involved with a married man. Before, I didn't feel as if I was normal because I felt that I was the only one amongst my friends who was a virgin.I've got a male friend who's 47 and he has told me in the past that he likes me. I never believed him really until about 2 - 3 weeks ago, we went out for a few drinks during the week. We were on our way home and he took me into an alley, kissed me and as he was doing this, he was putting his hand down my trousers. For a split second, I wanted it but then I freaked out. He later apologised if he offended me but he said he honestly does like me and he'll wait. I think that it just hit me that what he had said was true and thought "Oh, my God!"As soon as someone comes really close to me, I back off. I don't want to do that but I do. How can I change?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): You deserve more than that,yes the guy might like you but he doesnt RESPECT you to put his hands down your pants in an alley way.you are craving love,it wont come to you that way,when youre least expecting it,it will happen to you,youre too young,enjoy your life and discover the real you first.
A
male
reader, princeofsorrow +, writes (22 January 2009):
 Your reaction to the older guy was normal. If that was your first kiss then he was getting a little forward by putting his hand down your trousers! Yes, you wanted at first because of human desire, but you realised it wasn't right and stopped him. Also the age gap of over twenty years is a little much. You must be careful with older guys like him who are approaching 50, as they are often after only one thing with young women like you. His alley actions are proof of this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2009): I think maybe the reason you backed off from this last guy was because of the age gap. And to be honest, I would have done the same - he's double your age. And he jumped into things, which may have reminded you of your past experience.
I know guys have asked you out as a joke in the past, but you were younger then. Now the guys in your age group are older and more mature. And if you explain to a guy why you haven't had a boyfriend then he won't tease you about it - (although I wouldn't tell him he was your first boyfriend and why until you were quite close.)
I'm sure you'll find yourself in a loving relationship soon enough, but I wouldn't go after this guy as he is much older than you =]
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