A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I've recently been dating a girl. We have slept together a couple of times and spent a few days together. We met nearly two months ago. We haven't seen each other for nearly a month but have been in contact on the phone however she has become a little distant since we last saw each other but she does reply when I message or call her. I sent her an Christmas message and she replied and seemed happy to hear from me (I'd left it a week since I contacted her again) I do understand it's the holidays and things can be hard with visiting family and things. I'm not sure where to take it from here I mean she didn't reply to me when I replied to her last message however I didn't leave anything in the message for her to come back with. I'm thinking just to ask her out right if she's not interested any more. What do you think would be the best course of action here? The text reply was a good sign as she seemed happy to hear from me and even added a kiss.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2011): Jesus no, don't do that. That is a sure fire way of making sure she definitely isn't interested.
If you're interested in her still and want to keep dating then just think of something fun to do soon and invite her out. It's not rocket science OP just make her some offers it would be hard to refuse, show some intent and do some work and if she's interested she'll respond.
Honestly it sounds as if the fire has died down a bit though and I don't think your chances are good. But regardless women love a guy who doesn't give up easily (to a logical point of course) send her a happy new year text or call her (which is even better) and have some idea of a fun activity that she may enjoy for the weekend after new years.
Don't give up and definitely don't send one of those whiny, weak "tell me straight out" texts. Dating is about fun, where's the fun in receiving one of those?
So just call her and wish her a happy new year and try and set up a date. Tell her it'll be your treat, as in you'll pay for whatever it is, that way she can't give you the I'm broke excuse. If she says she has other plans and can't make it, then just say "okay lets reschedule then when is good for you." That will be the clincher then OP, any other response that "***day is good for me, I'm free then" means she's not interested and you can delete her number and forget about her. Most often though saying that in a phone call is a nice trick because you put them on the spot with no time to think of an excuse, so they'll either come clean and say "I'm not really interested" or name a day, even if they do manage to think of another excuse why they can't the tone of their voice will tell you if it's a real thing or not. Sometimes they will not be interested and in that moment panic and agree to a date which they later back out of but I find that's rare. Keep playing OP, she's not gone yet. Making that call will let you know where you stand without sounding like an over emotional wuss.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2011): Suggest meeting up. Go for it. Tell her you'd like to see more of her. Sometimes you have to risk a knock back. She may be waiting for you to take the lead - she may not want to do the chasing. You will never know until you try. Just do it.
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