Can't get him out of my head, he's not coming back but no one compares to him

A female age 30-35, *londieee5199 writes:

My ex boyfriend and I broke up about eight months ago. We had an amazing long and healthy relationship. He was my first real love and my best friend. The only reason I broke up with him is because my family didn't like him and didn't want me to be with him, and that caused a lot of problems in our relationship, ecspecially towards the end when it became really stressful and almost unbearable for us both. I didn't want us to go through it anymore, so I ended it, even though I loved him with every fiber of my existance. Of course we were both really upset, and after about a week I thought I made a huge mistake and told him i was sorry and stupid and wanted him back. He told me he still loved me too and we got back together for a few weeks, and then he suddenly started acting rude and angry and selfish. I didn't know what was going on with him, for this behavior was definately not like him. It ended with him yelling that he could never love me again because of my family and I needed to get the idea of us ever being together out of my head, and then he slammed a door in my face. I haven't seen or heard from him since. I was devastated! For months and months I couldn't eat, sleep, or hang out with my friends. I became diagnosed with depression, and had to go to therapy for a few months. It's been eight months, and since then all I've heard about him from people that are still in contact with him is that he moved a few towns away, goes to a different school, and that every once in a while, he still asks about me and if I'm alright. Even though I've recovered from my depression and I've returned to my old self, I can't seem to let go of his memory. I want to so much, and I still go to therapy to help me with it, but it seems like no matter what I do, he's always on my mind, and even when I don't want to, I think about him. He destroyed me, and I know that I deserve to be with someone who will love me and treat me better than that, but I feel like I don't want anybody else but him. I've been with a few guys since him, but it's just not the same. It's like none of them can come close to how I felt about my ex. I know he isn't coming back, considering its been eight months and he doesn't even live near me anymore, but I can't get rid of this feeling that somehow in someway, we'll be together again. I don't want to feel this way anymore and I want to forget him, but I can't. Help!

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A female reader, blondieee5199  +, writes (18 December 2011):

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