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Am I falling for my best friend ?

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Friends, Love stories<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 October 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 10 November 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My best male mate and I are both twenty-one years old and have been best friends since we were two! We grew up together and share absolutely everything! I feel like he's the only person in the world I can really open up to and trust. I've seen him go through three girlfriends and he's seen me go through four boyfriends, one of which I'm currently dating (for two months now). For some odd reason, though, our family and friends think we're meant for each other. I just laugh at this because, well, we're just friends. Right? I mean, I do love him, but not in THAT way...I'm pretty sure. But he's been acting a bit strange lately. Actually, he's been acting strange for the last six years. Especially when it came to my past boyfriends and he's been extremely moody when it comes to my current boyfriend. I'll admit, I've become a little jealous over his girlfriends, but it's harmless, yeah?

I don't relaly know what to think of this. Am I falling for my best friend? Have I already been? How does my best mate feel about me? I don't want to ruin an amazing friendship! I need help!

View related questions: best friend, jealous

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A female reader, frankie.says.relax United Kingdom +, writes (10 November 2008):

frankie.says.relax agony auntive found that in most male-female friendships one or both people end up liking each other at some point in the relationship, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything has to come of it and most people get over it.

he may like you, sure. do you think you only think you like him because there is a chance he likes you? that could be a possibility: you prefer the idea of him than the actual reality.

i guess only you know the answer to that.

the jealousy thing is normal, seeing as you're both so close. but when he had a girlfriend, were you just jealous because he had another woman in his life that he was spending time with, or because you wouldn't mind being that other woman?

and if you've ever thought of him sexually, or felt a sort of chemistry, and weren't repulsed by the idea than there is every chance you could be 'made for each other'

good luck,

hope it all goes okay xxx.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008):

When he comes over to my flat (which is a lot more than any of my own boyfriends have - he actually sleeps over sometimes) and my baby nieces are there (I babysit my brother's daughters a lot), I almost want to cry at how wonderful he is with them! And when we walk around the neighborhood, he sometimes takes my hand (I'm pretty sure in a platonic manner), but I feel electricity. He always smiles when he takes my hand too and I just can't help but feel a flutter in my stomach. Just the other day, he got into a physical fight with my boyfriend because I told him he and I got into a fight and my boyfriend slapped me across the face. I know my best friend would be a great husband and I've thought about what it would be like to be with him and grow old with him. He'll be a bio-engineer like he's wanted to be since he was 13 and I'll be a nurse like I've wanted to be since I was 8. My parents, brother, and my closest girl friend think we've both been in denial for ages, but I don't know. Do I really love him that way?

Gods, I must be daft. I'm truly sorry! I'm just really confused here! I have a new boyfriend of two months and now I'm having seriously mixed feelings about this...who do I choose?

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A male reader, Tsu United States +, writes (24 October 2008):

Tsu agony auntlol wow, sounds to me like a match made in heaven. It's obvious you got feelings for him, cmon now lol.

I mean, you pretty much know him inside and out right? And ya did mention you were kinda jealous of his girlfriends...that means something deep inside of you actually is jealous that you two aren't together.

And you 2 prolly would make the best couple, vuz well, you've known from for close to 20 yrs, meaning that you guys could easily last a long time in marriage. Idk, I always see best friends end up being perfect for each other.

Haven't you ever seen the movies?!

Forest gump, sex drive, My girl, etc etc. just saying, I'd look into it :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008):

Well you can ask yourself this question, but you won't get your definite answer until you talk to your friend. I don't think talking about it will hurt your friendship.

Think about why you think you were jelous of his exes. Was it just because you don't think they were good enough for him? Or was it because when yall both had relationships you didn't spend as much time together? Or was it because deep down you wanted to be the person that was with him?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008):

This is a toughy. I think your male best friend has a crush on you, but he is holding back because he is afraid of ruining a friendship of 19 years. He may have a sweet spot for you but you can never know until you sit down with him and talk it over. I am not sure how you feel about him. You haven't given enough information for me to analyze it. Maybe you are confused as well. You are also afraid of losing a friend, if the relationship doesn't work out. It doesn't have to be that way if you really think about it. I say take a chance. Just casually bring the topic up. If he has the same feelings for you as you do for him, them pursue it. See what happens. Take chances, make mistakes, and live love and learn. He may get disgrantled if it doesn't work out but give it time. Just close your eyes and think forward 10 years into the future. Do you see a life with this young man? Will you be happy with him? will he be a great father? will he be a great husband? will he stick by you? will he protect you? will you both grow old together. Be certain, and realistic when you make your choice. A good frienship should never be confused with real love.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008):

I don't know what to say because I am now married and in this boat.

Tell him that you don't want things akward but you might have feelings for him.

If he's a adult he will say if he does or not, and then will either try to take it to the next level or leave it alone

My bf is aware I have certain feelings but cannot and will not act on them b/c I am married. He simply tells me, I am here if you ever change your mind, and the option is always there.

Otherwise nothing has changed. We chit chat and hang out and nothing has ever happened so far and I have known him since I was 9.

Its totally up to you to keep queit or not. I know they say relationships with bf never work out but I don't belive it entirly.

good luck!

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