A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am such a pushover for everyone in my life! It's been this way since I was a really little girl and I don't know how to get out of that! Please help! It's really starting to annoy the crap out of me! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): although u should be saying no in bad situations you should ALSO learn to negotiate in not so clear cut decisions e.g. do u want 2 watch a movie? do u want an ice cream? do u want 2 make out? ie maybe decisions. a tactic is to ask 'why would I want to do that? what movies r on? what else could we do?' also buy time (let me get back to u, or can I think over it). best
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008): Thanks for all the help guys! I really appreciate it! I'm now trying harder to just say, "No." and I feel really bad afterward, but hopefully that feeling will go away soon enough.Thanks again!
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (24 October 2008):
 Do some research. There are certain herbs or blossoms that can help you to say, "No." You just haven't broken the no line yet. After you say that first no, it will probably become addicting or more easier to say. Try counseling. Explain to your therapist that you want to stop being such a pushover. She can help you find ways to be assertive, without being aggressive.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008): Right babes, I'll try to help if I can...
You have to decide what you want your future to be like. You can imagine yourself agreeing to every little thing. So a guy likes you and wants to marry you. You don't love him, but you want to make him happy. He is broke and he wants you to pay for the wedding, your agreeable and don't want to make a fuss so you agree to that as well. He cheats on you, you are a pushover, so you take him back. Your best friend steals your money, you don't mind, you like to make people happy, so you forgive her, and forgive her, and forgive her, until your broke and she has all your money. Your stuck in a dead end job and haven't had a pay rise for years. But that's ok, your a people pleaser, you don't want to make a fuss, you want to make people smile....the story goes on, and it gets no better, they stick on your gravestone, what a nice woman she was, then they leave and fight over your will..
The second picture of your future is much more golden.
You made up your mind you've had enough. You have goals and dreams that you want to achieve and because of that sometimes you have to say NO. You came to Dear Cupid, and went home and wrote a list of what you wanted out of life. You didn't want people pushing you around or taking your kindness and generosity for granted. So when you couldn't help somebody or didn't have something to give, you learned to say NO "I'm sorry, but I can't help". You decided to concentrate on the things you needed to achieve in life. You decided to tell the first guy NO, cause he wasn't good enough for you. You told your friend NO cause you didn't have enough money to help her out. You told your first boss NO because you couldn't stay in such a badly paid job. Sometimes you said yes, yes to friends that helped you, yes to the man you loved. Yes when you could help people out, but NO when it cost to much.
You are important as everyone else, you learned to give yourself the respect and love you deserve, so you could achieve your goals in life. You got more and more successful. People looked up to you and respected you for all you had achieved. You are no pushover, your a powerful confident woman. You life is a success you are happy, and you have tons of time and money to spend on the people who love you and have helped you. You have a big diary you carry around, that's your secret weapon, it contains all your goals and your timetable. You can say NO easily if you don't have the time, you are careful to make time for yourself and treat yourself as well as you treat everybody else... On your gravestone is written, "To a happy, successful woman who achieved all her goals, made the best out of life, a generous and supportive friend to everyone she met....
Two futures.. One lady says yes to everything.. The other lady says NO sometimes, which one will you choose...
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