A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi their. Can i have some views on sexless relationships. I have a high sex drive. And my future wife has none. So i masturbate quite a bit. I think my partners low sex drive is mainly due to her body image. She feels she is fat and unattractive. Always looking back to when we fist meet. No matter what i say her self of steam is still low. This is getting me down. I love her and our child is the world to me. But a life with sex once in a blue moon is destroying me
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female
reader, unmeidaagonyaunt  +, writes (29 August 2011):
 And WHY are you marrying this woman if you know that sex is already a problem before the marriage has even begun?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2011): In response to some suggestions I read, I advise that I have a veryyyyy high sex drive and my boyfriend lives in another state 5 hours away. i am perfectly able to manage not having sex with other people and we have no fights about it at all.Being with another person is all about sacrifices to make the other happy and to love them no matter what. if you truly love her then i dont see why sacrificing and going without sex should be such a big deal. sex isnt everything in a relationship. Are you sure you are honestly ready to settle down? marriage is about so much more than sex and while a lot of young newly married couples do have a lot of sex, it isnt necessary for the relationship to last. i think you should definitely talk to her about your feelings but dont necessarily see not marrying her as your only option.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 August 2011):
 What has she said to this? This problem is such a big one that I wouldn't advise you to marry her. But you are going to marry her, and you love her, and you have a child together... So yes, you are willingly walking into a sexless relationship. It is already posing a problem now, imagine how much of an issue it will be in a few years. Your sex drive is not guaranteed to decrease.
From what I've read from other people in sexless marriages, they lead to divorce, terrible fights, frustration, resentment, hate. The easiest way to save a sexless marriage is by having an affair. In certain situations I think an affair is the better option. But then again... why would you marry a woman when your best option is to have an affair??
Why can you and your fiance not have a friendship, love each other as friends, and keep peace between the two of you for the sake of your child. Why marry her, when it will lead to so much pain and eventually destroy the marriage anyway?
I see this as a dead end unless... unless she gets more interested in sex. Talk to her. Hear what she says. Sort this out and come to an agreement before you marry her. If you can not come to a functioning agreement then do not marry her, for everyone's sake. She can not be happy knowing that she torments you when she denies you intimacy and sex, you can not be happy when so frustrated (and if you don't feel so frustrated right now, in some more years you will surely be), and I believe this problem will cause so much resentment and anger and frustration it will not be a good environment for your child to grow up in. I fear there will be too many fights and too much hurt, especially if you later on decide this was indeed too much and you need a divorce/affair. It is better then that the parents stay friends.
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