A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:II ended it with my girlfriend and now she won't take me back.We have been going out for 2 years and she has been the best girlfriend anyone could wish for. I on the other hand have been a terrible girlfriend, i've cheated twice, ended it with her on numerous occasions and made her miserable. Every time I've gone crawling back she has given me chance after chance because she really did love me, even after all the heart ache I've caused her. About 2 months ago i ended it again because i find it really difficult being in a gay relationship. My family doesn't accept it and say awful things, so I gave up and thought my life would be easier with a boy. Again she was heartbroken, and i was cold towards her. I was crying inside but I never show my emotions so she thought I was heartless and wanted nothing to do with me again. Every day I think about her and cry because i really do want to be with her, I hate myself for the cheating and upset I have caused her. Anyway last week i bumped in to her whilst out with my friends, I ended up going back to hers and we slept together. The next day we were acting like a couple again and I ended up staying at hers for 3 days, we poured our hearts out to each other and said we loved each other and I told her I didn't mean what I said and that i wanted to be with her. However when I got home, the tables turned and she was the one being cold with me. She hardly spoke to me and i kept begging her to take me back but she kept saying she didn't want this relationship again and needed time to sort her head out. So i was hopeful, I still cried every night because she was being so off with me and when i was at hers she was all over me, so i felt confused. Anyway this week i have found out she has been seeing another girl for 2 weeks and she admitted to me that they get on really well and she thinks she likes her, this girl also lives in the same city as her and i live 2 hours away. I feel sick to my stomach, i cant sleep and i cant eat, and its affecting my work, my heart feels like it has been ripped out of my chest and i can't stop crying. I know i deserve it and now i'm feeling the pain that she's had to go through whilst being with me, but i can't carry on like this. I just want a fresh start, I don't care what my family say about our relationship because i have never loved anyone like i love her, and it's time i stopped being so ashamed and show her. I can't imagine my life without her and i think this is really the end for us. She has gone on holiday with her friends and says she needs time to clear her head, she's not giving me any answers and i'm just stuck in limbo, hoping she will come back and want to be with me again. I just need some advice because i cant talk to my parents, my friends don't know what to say and i've never felt pain like this..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2011): listen if you love you keep trying dont just give up but like saying goes if you love someone let them go .... but if they come back it was truly meant to be ! good luck i wish you two the best of luck
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (16 August 2011):
 Would you want to be with you? I doubt it. Look, it sounds like you're experiencing some pain and upset, which isn't nice, but I think you probably will benefit in the long run from this.
My observation about your post is that you are all about yourself. You focus so much on your feelings and the "poor me" attitude that you have entirely overlooked HER feelings. You show no empathy for what she's had to experience at your hands. You are not focused on her happiness, you pretty much are only focused on yours. If you are selfish by nature, people will eventually tire of being used and messed about with. If you are merely immature, with time you'll come to find that in a true love relationship, you care more for the other person's feelings, health and well-being than your own. This doesn't mean that you take abuse from them, mind you, it just means that you think about them first.
You're not doing that yet, thinking about her first. You are so fixated on the real pain you're experiencing that you haven't realized that NOT being with you is probably better for your ex than dating you is. She'll be happier in the long run.
Now, what do you do to get through this period? You remember to breathe. Don't self-medicate with alcohol or drugs. Get your friends to support you--they don't have to solve it, just be there for you. Get a grip on expressing your sexuality, work on losing the selfish thing, and you'll be in a better position for the next person who comes into your life.
Good luck.
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