A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:erm ok, im not really sure where to start its pretty much been this whole year where my life seems to be just rolling downhill.To start with i met this guy and he was perfect we went out but it ended because of the distance, that was 5months ago now but i still love him even tho he has a new gf and im really jealous but dont want to do anything about it because of loosing him as a friend.My recent bf found out that i still loved my ex and he started to dislike me so found any excuse to get rid of me and then a week later he started dating a new girl and it has really left me heartbroken and lost.Then there is also my best friend who i have strong feelings for, we have had sex with each other. normally if i dont hear from him i dont mind too much but recently i have just been craving his attention and when he had to rush off the other day when i saw him i just felt so down when he left and i dont know why.thats all the guy things that has bought me down, and then there is also the fact i failed all my exams and lost my job which has made me feel really useless.I just feel so upset, im not sure why but above are my guesses.i hate feeling like this, everyone seems to be avoiding me and i have no-one to talk to. it makes me wonder if anyone would really care if i just killed myself. i mean i know that sounds bad seeing as i already self harm but it feels like everyone is against me and just wants to mess with my head and/or play with my emotions.i dont want to see a counciller or anything, my parents have already tried forcing me to one of those and i just dont want to talk face to face with someone i dont know.Any suggestions of what i can do about all this, or change my frame of mind? im scared of myself and who i have become.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've always been told to take charge of my life and decide by myself where i should lead my life. I feel that if i go to a counciller then im just giving up. Also, i'm not very good at talking to people i don't know face to face, i'm too shy and scared. I don't trust people very well, it took a lot just to post this here. but i just don't know what to do. I would talk to my friends but i don't think they really care about whats going on in my head, they are just there as company when i am out and about. My family are always work now, except my brother but he is only 13 and wouldn't understand.
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